xep

One year later.

Hi.

The next morning he asked me, "what drug were we on last night?"

"None." I replied.

Hey, read this.

don't worry, i don't exist.

I am trying to decide how I'm going to come to terms with the fact that there is no inherent "good" in the universe. Altruism doesn't exist. Every organism on the planet just wants to survive and will do whatever it takes to make that happen. The definitions of survival are different for all of us and when our's clash, well that's where the problems...
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The housemates are watching a movie downstairs. Someone is screaming hysterically at the top of his lungs and it makes me think that that would feel really good. Stresses in life are affecting my physically. I got kicked off the trapeze at school for not having turned in the appropriate paperwork saying I'm allowed to use the trapeze. Nevermind the fact that I've been there...
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It was autumn there and we made love under the stars every night. Of all the times we were together, it was always in nature. So natural. Her body was familiar the first time we touched. She was maternal and knowing and everything was so safe. We were invisible to the rest of the world being lead by whimsy and good intentions. If a path...
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My body is made of meat.

Last night I dreamt I was at a 36 hour cleanse with Kristie. I was excited but showed up wearing black and white when I was supposed to be in all white. We were sitting in a room with bamboo floors facing another group of people who were doing yoga towards us in order to channel energy and strength. A woman named Mary was there....
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My housemate walked into the kitchen and said "you're wearing Thai fisherman pants. You're a hippy." I started to argue but then realized I was in the process of making popcorn with flax seed oil and nutritional yeast. There is no hope to survive make your time.

Today at work someone brought in two three week old puppies. Someone had found them in a garbage bag on the side of the road. Also in the bag were the dead mother and four other dead puppies. The worst part about this was that it's not an uncommon occurrence. I just don't get people.

this morning at work i was running a lyme/ehrlichia test and staring at a poster with pictures of parasites. as i mixed the conjugate and sample, i found myself looking closely at a line drawing of a louse and thinking "it was different when i was a louse. it was more like tron." the thought process was totally subconcious though and i didn't remember it...
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