something along the lines of totally fucking insane happened last night: naked hot tub boobies. stormo and i brought girls back to his place and we kind of sort of ended up naked in the hot tub... yeah... what're you gonna do?
jordan pointed out to me a while ago that when i go to the bathroom at the bar something fucked up always happens to me. yes, yes this is true. so friday night i'm explaining this to someone and i realized that i only come back with bathroom stories when jordan is out with us. crazy but true. so he is dubbed 'i don't use public restrooms when jordan's around'. nice and short, i know.
case in point: friday
so i'm talking to biggar and he asks me if i have seen the movie 'waiting' (i knew about it before because dane cook is in it and dane cook is a funny bitch). i told him no and he started going off on it. i tell him to hold on cause i have to piss. i tell jordan that if i don't come back with a story he will no longer be bad bathroom luck.
i enter the bathroom. there's four urinals and three of them are full. i tell myself fuck. i knew the odds were against me. something was going to happen. nope. nothing. the three guys leave. BUT WAIT! some guy comes in and starts pissing. all of a sudden he looks over and asks if i've ever seen 'waiting'. no but my buddy told me it was good. ...then he starts to tell me about a scene in the movie where two guys are pissing and one of them is staring at the other's cock. and he says, "hey man, you have a nice cock" or something similar. i zip up and fucking high tail it out of there yelling at jordan along the way back to my chair.
then about two minutes later i get a text message from tara asking if i've ever seen 'waiting'.
alright... i love dane cook and all but i am pretty sure this is a bad omen. do not see this movie... you can, but i'm not.
case in point: last week
we're sitting at jim's having a beer or two. and i'm holding off pissing cause jim's has one urinal and a toilet about five feet apart. some people feel it's fine to share this bathroom... i don't. el occupodo... or something. well, i'm holding off cause i've had bad bathroom stories happen a lot at jim's. finally i said fuck it. i go to the bathroom and as i get to the door a guy comes out who suspicously looks like benny (a guy who slept on my proch last summer... long story). so i go in and undo my gear. i turn around cause i didn't hear the door shut. and there's this dude (who may or may not be benny) staring at me. all of a sudden he brakes out in song and this is what he serenaded me with: "legalize it, don't critisize it". the door shuts and my head looks forward at the chalkboard where this benny look-a-like (or benny himself sans beard) has written his wonderful song in yellow chalk.
so there you have it. two of the many bathroom stories that haunt me... i'm sure there will be more as time goes by.
...i bought the game gun and i'm going to go home and play it. and i also need to go and play more lufia 2 at some point.
jordan pointed out to me a while ago that when i go to the bathroom at the bar something fucked up always happens to me. yes, yes this is true. so friday night i'm explaining this to someone and i realized that i only come back with bathroom stories when jordan is out with us. crazy but true. so he is dubbed 'i don't use public restrooms when jordan's around'. nice and short, i know.
case in point: friday
so i'm talking to biggar and he asks me if i have seen the movie 'waiting' (i knew about it before because dane cook is in it and dane cook is a funny bitch). i told him no and he started going off on it. i tell him to hold on cause i have to piss. i tell jordan that if i don't come back with a story he will no longer be bad bathroom luck.
i enter the bathroom. there's four urinals and three of them are full. i tell myself fuck. i knew the odds were against me. something was going to happen. nope. nothing. the three guys leave. BUT WAIT! some guy comes in and starts pissing. all of a sudden he looks over and asks if i've ever seen 'waiting'. no but my buddy told me it was good. ...then he starts to tell me about a scene in the movie where two guys are pissing and one of them is staring at the other's cock. and he says, "hey man, you have a nice cock" or something similar. i zip up and fucking high tail it out of there yelling at jordan along the way back to my chair.
then about two minutes later i get a text message from tara asking if i've ever seen 'waiting'.
alright... i love dane cook and all but i am pretty sure this is a bad omen. do not see this movie... you can, but i'm not.
case in point: last week
we're sitting at jim's having a beer or two. and i'm holding off pissing cause jim's has one urinal and a toilet about five feet apart. some people feel it's fine to share this bathroom... i don't. el occupodo... or something. well, i'm holding off cause i've had bad bathroom stories happen a lot at jim's. finally i said fuck it. i go to the bathroom and as i get to the door a guy comes out who suspicously looks like benny (a guy who slept on my proch last summer... long story). so i go in and undo my gear. i turn around cause i didn't hear the door shut. and there's this dude (who may or may not be benny) staring at me. all of a sudden he brakes out in song and this is what he serenaded me with: "legalize it, don't critisize it". the door shuts and my head looks forward at the chalkboard where this benny look-a-like (or benny himself sans beard) has written his wonderful song in yellow chalk.
so there you have it. two of the many bathroom stories that haunt me... i'm sure there will be more as time goes by.
...i bought the game gun and i'm going to go home and play it. and i also need to go and play more lufia 2 at some point.
fatality:
Well, that is multiple shades of interesting