xcleroy

I've really been hiding out hardcore from this blog. A lot going on, really. Since my last entry, I've returned to ever glorious U.S. soil. (I am aware that there are lots of people not from the States that frequent this site. Your homes are glorious, too. Leave it for 6+ months, then go back. It will feel glorious to you, too.) Wonderful place, by the way. I don't plan on leaving it again possibly ever. I saw things like trees and people obeying traffic laws. It was mind-blowing.

So much to say or not say about it all! No more desert adventures! Sand in eyes and 12 hour workdays or being surrounded by barbed wire like a prison inmate. I drove. My own car. And I liked it. It was like riding a bicycle. I though it would take some getting used to to drive something other than a bus. Nope. Seconds after getting behind the wheel, I was good to go again.

So much...

weirdest thing about leaving a place that I vocalized wanting to leave all the time was how much I didn't want to leave when it came time to go. In my head, there was a camaraderie, belonging, purpose, acceptance, and need that I don't remember from home. Those are big, whether you want to be a self-described loner or not. It affects everyone. It's subtle. I thought I was pretty to myself, but bonds with others happen without your conscience consent. It made me have very mixed feelings about returning home. Yes, I wanted to come back, but I didn't want to leave behind certain abstractions of my location and it's workings.

All of it was weird to feel. But I wasn't alone. Other felt it too. But, I'm back. And still getting used to that...