My subscription to SG is soon coming to an end and I am wondering if I'm going to carry on with my membership. I grew up within the alternative punk and hardcore scene and DIY culture. What motivated me a lot was the fact I could get to know people worldwide, travel around and get to meet interesting folks nearly everywhere, crash at some complete strangers' place simply because they were part of this network and in most cases these were very positive experience and how I got to meet my best friends. Unfortunately most of them live far away and I get to see them only once in a very long while. Some I've lost contacts with some I'm still in touch with and no matter how much time goes by the bound's still here. I remember I loved the fact that I could go out someplace and get acquainted with someone else on a bus ride, or meeting them on a sidewalk simply because they had dreads or a mohawk or green hair and piercings and tattos and patches on their clothes or backpack. Or a t-shirt from a punk band and that would be a sign that we belonged to the same "tribe". Those were the days :) I mean before all the social networks, before all the trendiness, before piercings and tattos became such fashionable things. You could identify to someone by the way they looked. I'm having a much harder time nowadays! I love the quietness and being on my own and at the same time I suffer from big depression periods and loneliness. I joined SG in 2014 I believe after a friends told me it was an amazing place for debates on a variety of issues with plenty of friendly people (+ and I rememeber the words "extremely gorgeous members into alternative modelling"). So I have to admit that being in the search of friends and pushed by curiosity (I have always been attracted by tattos and piercings + love the curves of a female body) I took a membership. I have indeed seen some beautiful models and beautiful souls. Have had some nice talks with a few people and probably as many crushes as I'll never have anywhere else except in a HC gig filled with thousands of people. But in the end I have also discovered (I was very naive) some aspects that make me wonder every time what I should do about it. I have seen what I belived was an alternative place to promote different lifestyles, to promote nudity and self acceptance being more and more of a fashionable thing where a lot of SOTD meets the standards. Ie tall, thin, tanned gorgeous women with big breasts. That norm I so hardly fought within the punk scene. The fact that being "fat" was ok, that you shouldn't bend to the patriarchal norms imposed on us shaving, using make up, undergoing a dresscode etc... I often look at sets and am a bit scared to see that many models (gorgeous yet) maybe inked or pierced but are more and more looking like the professional models from the everyday media culture. An image I want to avoid because only small percentage of the population actually looks like what they want to impose on us as the norms. Tall, fit and well shaped for the men and with the "perfect" measurements for women. I have also found out that many were actually sex workers (which don't get me wrong I have nothing against) and in the current state of things I have a hard time thinking I'm paying for that. I mean the way things goes right now I believe the world is ruled and dogmatised by patriarchal laws, from your birth to your death you are told how to behave, how to live... From the way you look to your relationship you are told to follow the norm. I want my world to be as homesexual, lesbian, bi, hetero as possible. One should always be free to decide what he/she wants and how to lead his/her life. People should feel confortable being small, tall, fat,thin with small boobs or not, with hair or not.... And as things are it is not the way it is. Most sex workers go down a line of business that answers the public's demand: ie a vision of sexuality that isn't really relevant of reality. A sexuality mainly ruled by men for men: based on fantasies. Like facial ejaculation, anal sex/double... (sorry I don't know how the technical terms!) but my point is (I may be wrong) but how many of you actually practise facial ejaculation at home? isn't it something you mainly see in movies? Like a dominant image of the male over the female. I don't really care how people behave in their personal relationship as long as they are happy. It can be with NSA sex, S/M, bondage, submissive or not but I think it only represent a small percentage of how people have sex and imposing this image as the norm or as sexual relationship should be feels wrong to me. This doesn't me I don't get turned on seing a woman getting all horny with two guys fucking her, or whatever. You get the picture. I'm human, and I've been subjected to the same pressures and structures of desire thoughout my education. Sexism and sexuality... At this point I'd encourage you to go check "refusing to be a man" my Propaghandi, a song which basically sums up how I feel about it! Anyway, what scares me is that I see more and more models, whom I find really cute by nature undergoing surgery, having breast implants and everytime I can't help asking myself why!! Again maybe I'm naive and this is a must do being sex workers (and I also have nothing to say about it, just like abortion: this is and must remain the person's/woman's choice). I am just scared to see this is turning into a fashion or a norm once again. Most models I like I actually like because they remain, at least from what I can see, natural . No or little make up, they have bushes which seems to me more natural as well, more "feminine". Shaved pussy is probably something coming from the fantasies and pornographic industry and still rings to me as the "teenage" area. or maybe it's just because I'm from Europe and bushes are more of a natural thing around here. Anyway, back to the membership. After 5 years or so being a member the note is that I have made (at least what I consider as being) 1 friend... All others where mainly feedbacks or occasional trades via blogs or comments. I'd rather give my money away to something else. At the same time I'm still hoping to meet some nice people and make more friends via this community... So I don't know what I'll do. What annoys me as well is seing since the streams are going on a lof of disrespectful people (I've talked about it recently with a couple of members and in a blog) that seems to be here only for the nudity and the sex. That's not what I'm looking for. I don't really want to be a part of it, even if I do enjoy the bodies, the curves, the sexiness and all. I want to be here to support the alternative, to support a different lifestyle and train of thought. Hopefully I can still access my account before my membership ends (haven't really checked out when this is happening). Once again, feel free to comment, write, share your thoughts and all about it. I am rather open minded and am also interested in getting more information or news or views from any members (may you be sex worker or not it doesnt matter to me, and if you are aren't you the more enclined to express your views and facts about your job?). Anyway, keep up the good work, keep up the alternative! keep on fighting!
ps: to all those who may write, I'll be away for a few days and sometimes take a while to write back (you know how life is!) but I always get back to people!