xbadnewsx

So today was a pretty good day. Had the usual school stuff. Then went shopping with avidity. I bought some great clothes and she is like the ultimate shopping buddy. I only got like 2 shirts and a pair of pants for 240 and then a pair of gloves for an extra 20 but when you buy the good clothes you know they are worth it.

And the way I see it is if I love an article of clothing. Money is no object. unless it surpasses my finances, then it's a cinder block.

Still great day over all. But afterwords I went to go help my ex get her computer back up and running. I am a computer geek after all so it is something I enjoy doing. Only problem is that I really do miss her.

It's been 3 months since she left me because I didn't cook, didn't do laundry, and I was very dependent in the way I would refuse to do anything until me and her could do it together. Sad part about the cooking thing is that I made her a full meal from scratch with no directions from boxes or anything of the sort. I know how t cook but I never did because I didn't need to. But I made her a full meal. Then I call her to tell her what I did like a kid who did a macaroni drawing going to a mom to get the " Your so talented!" speech and that is when she breaks the news to me. That she doesn't see herself marrying me. the context of this was that I had bought her a ring a couple months back and was waiting until she stopped being so cold to me so I could pop the question. Needless to say that moment never came.

That night I ate her meal. It was too filling so I could finish it. But my mom finished it in one sitting and said that it was amazing and she didn't know I could cook.


So back to present I visit her and now I remember why i kind of don't enjoy spending time with her. I still care about her, and I always will. And at this point every time I have seen her I get this deep feeling that I'm alone. So I put on a fake smile and make idle conversation that I know she isn't enjoying. But I can't be funny and charismatic like I always am. then after business is done she walked me to my car, gave me a hug and told me she misses her friend. I hugged her back smiled and waved her good bye.

What she doesn't know is almost every time on the drive back home I am almost to the point of crying. Every time I spend time with her. So for 3 months I have been visiting her once a week, putting up a fake smile and then driving home holding back tears. She doesn't know. And I'll never tell her Because I only want her to be happy. If I show I'm sad, it will make her sad, and for no reason on this earth would I want to bring sadness to her Not once have a shown sadness since she has left me to keep her from feeling guilty.

I know I won't ever go back to her though, because as she said, she doesn't see herself marrying me. I am not her gold trophy, I'm not the one for her. If she ever wanted me back I could never do it because for her happiness I never want her to settle for "good enough"



Alright enough of that shit

Time for some VIDYA GAEMS



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PS
Time Warner is going to start setting bandwith caps on your internet. So they will charge you for using the internet more than a certain amount each month

To give you an idea streaming one netflix movie uses 8 GB
One of the bandwith caps is 5 GB for $29.99 and a dollar for each GB you go beyond

So that means watching ONE movie on netflix streaming will raise your months bill to 8 GB, and thats not counting normal internet usage like checking websites, downloading music off itunes, PLAYING XBOX LIVE, or other common tasks. Not to mention this will annoy any pirate now a days.

http://kotaku.com/5202807/time-warner-bandwidth-caps-gaming-and-you
there is a link in that link that explains in detail.