Well, so far, this has been an interesting week...
Me and my love have been together officially since the 19th now, although we only decided on that date last night. It's just great to finally have someone that is honest with you, tells you what she likes and dislikes, whatever the consequeces are. Much, much better than previous girlfriends who basically accepted whatever I liked and thus got frustrated by forcing themselves to like what I like. That might sound like an egocentrical statement, but hey, it's just what happened during the last 16 years...
For that matter, she also kicked me in the face. Not literally, but she gave me a good shove two weeks ago which forced me to rethink some parts of my life. I've been surviving for so long, that at some point I forgot how to actually live. Wasn't a pretty thought, nor are most of the things I've done throughout the years, but it was necessary, and even as I helped her through this week of Hell, she unknowingly helped me pull myself together. Heck, even if this relationship goes nowhere, I'll always be thankfull for her kicking me in the face.
I also realized that I got my memory screwed up. Theoretically, when you sleep, you dream, and mash the days' experiences into something that will eventually form your memory. It seems my lack of sleep of the last decade has fucked up my memory. Meaning I remember things I've never done, including emotional values, guilt and an assortment of other stuff. So I started writing a diary to keep up on what I'm doing. My memory is more messed up than I thought, and so I'm kinda doubting what I am, and what I like.
I decided to give a positive twist to this by re-trying old things. For example, I never liked ansjovis, so yesterday I had pita bread with molten cheese and ansjovis. Loved it. This basically means I'm gonna have to try everything I like or dislike and see if I like it or not. Heh, that kinda killed the boredom I had with this life.
Well, enough drama. Got some plans in the future, which need fullfilling.
1) Pay of last debts.
2) Get driver's licence and car (I'm freaking 34 and I don't have a damn licence!)
3) Finish my house so I can actually live there.
4) Get a working camera and post more pics
5) Start writing again!
Hope you all have a good day, and chin up! Life isn't as fucked up as most people imagine!
Me and my love have been together officially since the 19th now, although we only decided on that date last night. It's just great to finally have someone that is honest with you, tells you what she likes and dislikes, whatever the consequeces are. Much, much better than previous girlfriends who basically accepted whatever I liked and thus got frustrated by forcing themselves to like what I like. That might sound like an egocentrical statement, but hey, it's just what happened during the last 16 years...
For that matter, she also kicked me in the face. Not literally, but she gave me a good shove two weeks ago which forced me to rethink some parts of my life. I've been surviving for so long, that at some point I forgot how to actually live. Wasn't a pretty thought, nor are most of the things I've done throughout the years, but it was necessary, and even as I helped her through this week of Hell, she unknowingly helped me pull myself together. Heck, even if this relationship goes nowhere, I'll always be thankfull for her kicking me in the face.
I also realized that I got my memory screwed up. Theoretically, when you sleep, you dream, and mash the days' experiences into something that will eventually form your memory. It seems my lack of sleep of the last decade has fucked up my memory. Meaning I remember things I've never done, including emotional values, guilt and an assortment of other stuff. So I started writing a diary to keep up on what I'm doing. My memory is more messed up than I thought, and so I'm kinda doubting what I am, and what I like.
I decided to give a positive twist to this by re-trying old things. For example, I never liked ansjovis, so yesterday I had pita bread with molten cheese and ansjovis. Loved it. This basically means I'm gonna have to try everything I like or dislike and see if I like it or not. Heh, that kinda killed the boredom I had with this life.
Well, enough drama. Got some plans in the future, which need fullfilling.
1) Pay of last debts.
2) Get driver's licence and car (I'm freaking 34 and I don't have a damn licence!)
3) Finish my house so I can actually live there.
4) Get a working camera and post more pics
5) Start writing again!
Hope you all have a good day, and chin up! Life isn't as fucked up as most people imagine!
jadz:
what you told me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one of the best candidates !!!!!!!!!!!!!! aver if I get it !!!!!!!!!!! thank you very much for your comment! of course you too are one of the cutest members I've seen
