xalicex

im so tired...i just did an hours cardio and its totally knackered me out!

theres a chance we will be having a bbq today, since we have a bbq that has never been used and my mum sid they would buy the food......we shall see...it might be tommorrow;.....or knowing my mum, it might never happen.

me and brian were wondering what my mum was gonna do when my sister moves to bolton.....it isnt that far from us. but she doesnt drive and its about an hours drive.

at the moment, she sees my sister every day, she always is looking after the kids and always round at my sisters house.

i wondered if shock horror....maybe she would focus on spending more time with louis, seeing as we are abut a minutes walk up the road.


i doubt it.

my mum is getting new puppy ina couple of weeks, a little border collie, and i went with her the other week to have a look at it. she was talking to the women who was selling them( who is friend of my mums) and she was saying how she doesnt know how shes gonna cope without her grandchildren......erm...hello! im standing right next to you...i havea child...he is your grandchild too!

she then said how she is going to learn how to drive by a car and drive down as often as she can.

so the situ is sitll not gonna change.

my sister who is gonna live an hours drive away is gonna see my mum more than me who lives a few houses up the road.

everytime i ring up to see if she wants me to come down with louis....she says she cant cos she is going round to my sisters....

i cant believe that really doeant see how hurtfull it all is.....shes so dumb its unreal.

i know alot of you wil be thinking...fuck her...just forget about her...cut her out of your life.....

but its is soooooooo easier said than done....when you go through your life feeling unloved by your own mother...its something you cant really get over....or at least i certainly cant.....and i think i will spend the rest of my life trying to get something that i know i will never have.

i guess that makes me tragic