xalicex

im so tired

i have to get up early to do my blood sugar test, and i cant get back to sleep after wards
and i cant seem to have naps during the day.

i have no idea how im gonna cope with even less sleep when louis is here, cos at the moment i get up about 7 or 8 times a night to pee cos hes on my bladder.

i just feel truly exhausted.




better news is that EXTREME are back together and playing live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant not miss this, ive been a fan for a long long long time.

the new song is awsome!!



we cant really afford it but seeing as i have no idea if they will be doing more after this, i cant really miss out. it will be a month after my due date. i probably wont be let over my due date with this diabetes, possibly even induced earlier, so he will be at least a month old cos the concert is in november.

it will be hard leaving him, especially so early, but my sister said its best to get it out of the way sooner cos her older son robin was being babysat by my mum when he was a new born and hes fine being left with her or us now, but pixie hasnt ever been left when she was a newborn and now she wont stay with anyone.
she said it helps so i guess i have to start somewhere.

my mum has yet again crushed me in ways i cant understand but im not gonna go into it. i fucking hate that after 25 years......she can still make me cry like a little child.

i have heard that with diabetes, he couldbe induced at about 38 weeks....but depending on how big he is ( i will find out on the growth scan) it could be as early as 36 weeks!!!!!!!!

and im a day off being 30 weeks!!!!!!!!! theres no time left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im starting to panic.
i just have no clue when it comes to babies. none at all. i havent ever held a newborn!!!!! ive only change one nappy in my life and i have no idea what im doing.....its sooo scary.
but im sure it will be amazing. to have him here and looking at me, knowing that i have 'grown' him.