Ok...so here's the fucking deal.
I was sooooooo fucking wrong about the sex thing. It's just another one of my addictions, heh. It feels great, it alleviates my mood, and being that I am THE sensation junkie of ALL sensation junkies it's a quick fix to my feeling shitty.
I love the Man...don't get me wrong, and ----he is an awesome fuck....but, we've just been shit lately-aside from sex....
Uggh, I hate the way I've been feeling. I don't know if anyone can love me past my pain--why am I still carrying around all this bullshit emotional baggage???
I don't think he'll stop loving me, but I think his love will become more angry and less loving.
Next stop--cumbersome...
Gawd...all we do is fight and fuck....is that normal? Is that what love is about? I really don't know...
I'm so exhausted right now, literally. I medicated myself today----shopping and I spent wayyyyy toooooo much $$$$. Gawd, I'm pathetic and compulsive.
Well, my friends will be here tomally....it's our son's 10th birthday...and---our 4th of July celebration on the 3rd of July. I'm excited cause at this "family /slash/ his friends only function" (normally)-----I will have some allies and a cigarette---(I quit smoking about a year ago).
Aren't I rebellious?
xoxox,
I was sooooooo fucking wrong about the sex thing. It's just another one of my addictions, heh. It feels great, it alleviates my mood, and being that I am THE sensation junkie of ALL sensation junkies it's a quick fix to my feeling shitty.
I love the Man...don't get me wrong, and ----he is an awesome fuck....but, we've just been shit lately-aside from sex....
Uggh, I hate the way I've been feeling. I don't know if anyone can love me past my pain--why am I still carrying around all this bullshit emotional baggage???
I don't think he'll stop loving me, but I think his love will become more angry and less loving.
Next stop--cumbersome...
Gawd...all we do is fight and fuck....is that normal? Is that what love is about? I really don't know...
I'm so exhausted right now, literally. I medicated myself today----shopping and I spent wayyyyy toooooo much $$$$. Gawd, I'm pathetic and compulsive.
Well, my friends will be here tomally....it's our son's 10th birthday...and---our 4th of July celebration on the 3rd of July. I'm excited cause at this "family /slash/ his friends only function" (normally)-----I will have some allies and a cigarette---(I quit smoking about a year ago).
Aren't I rebellious?
xoxox,