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im gonna try and reschedule the appointment, cos its changed alot since then and im pretty sure its not a lump but more like fat, but i dont want to ignore it so i will get it checked, but i need to go a for a good long walk with my friend toria and i can only go for good long ones when brian is...
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nikonphoto80:
As long as you get it check out soon, long walks with friends are important, but so is your health.

Im glad you had fun, why had you not seen your family in so long? Compliments always make our days go better.
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ive got a doctors appointment on wednesday, i dont go to the doctors ever, only its totally neccessary, but i found lump in my breast, i have no idea what it is, could be fat i guess, dunno, but i dont want to take the risk of leaving it.

im more scared than i am letting on to be honest, i guess i feel like...
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enne:
OMG!! It's such a good thing to get checked out, your doing the right thing hun! I hope the appointment goes well, let me know how you get on, and you know I'm here if you need to talk about it *big hugs* I'll be thinking of your on WEdnesday xxxx
nikonphoto80:
Im really glad you are getting it checked out, more then likely it is nothing, but if it is something then it needs to be taken care of soon as possible.
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lil_em:
I wanna nibble them toots!! Hehe xx
tetrisbrokeme:
what a little heartbreaker! x
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whilst i was away my little man had his very first birthday eeek can you believe how fast time has gone?
hes such a little devil but i love him dearly, hes my little soldier.

illl post some pics of him in my next blog, so you can see how much he has change! and trust me he has changed alot!

brian now has a full...
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nikonphoto80:
well Im glad she is back in your life for good this time, best friends are hard to lose.

What did you do for his birthday?

Well Im glad brian has a job now and Im glad things are improving.

It is good to have some one to go for walks with and even better to have good friends in your life.
lil_em:
Hey, that's great news that you've got your friend back honey! And great for the old motivation too which is what I've been lacking lately frown Meh

Happy Birthday Louis too! love

xx
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ok guys, its over and out for me on here im afraid.

we are trying to cut back on bills so we are getting rid of our landline and the internet, and ive just got an iphone on contract so we can use that for calls and checking facebook and email etc.

we will be saving around 30 a month but probably more because i...
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nikonphoto80:
i hope it doesn't take you to long to come back, i will miss you on here, i don't use face book half as much as i use this.
sauda:
Good luck with everything in all you do! We'll miss you around here. See you on the FB. smile
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seems im crap on here these days.

dont know if thats because i prefer the swift and easiness of facebook...where i am limited to how much i open up because of family members being on there, or if its that i am avoiding talking about my feelings....well....not avoiding...thats the wrong word, im not hiding or anything, i think its more that i just cant be...
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lior:
Yeah I really don't think that things will go smoothly either.

I've had people tell me that I should just leave it, forget about the will etc and cut them off now because the material crap doesn't matter. And they're right, it doesn't matter, but what grandma wanted does. Its really hard right now, this whole will thing is the hardest part I think.

And things are already being taken from the house and given away, before the will is even done! mad And to think that Aaron and I were accused to being after money etc when they're the ones doing the dishonest thing mad
cherrytrash:
Thanks for the comment about the paintings love <3, i havnt been on here much either, except for checking the pregnant group...but i still cant seem to stay away for good lol
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every night since michael died...ive dreamt about him.

i kinda want it to stop because i wake up miserable because of it.


yesterday was a day of pretty much none stop crying....it was so hard to say goodbye to someone who has always been there, and always had a special meaning to me.

i find it hard to understand why people focus so much on...
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ferretbite:
I realized last night much to my own surprise how I don't own a single CD of his music. I do have a couple of vinyls and of course, tapes, but no CDs.

And I followed the whole ceremony too. It was fittingly beautiful.
nikonphoto80:
Im sorry your taking it so hard, I hope you feel Better.
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thanks guys....i do feel a bit better....although im still welling up when i hear him......its just so strange when someone has been such a massive part of your life for so long. i always used to say out of all the people in the world...he would be the one i would want to hug to most. i just imagine he would be a good hugger...and...
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lior:
You will, once the economy recovers and you guys get back on your feet you'll be able to get your own place in no time.
enne:
Aww bless ya, your so sweet, that was such a lovely thing to say, how you doing anyways lady?? You ok?? x
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what can i say?.......im so saddened. i cant stop crying.

i loved him from the start...and i never stopped..no matter what they said.

some of my earliest memories involve his music as a backdrop.


a life without him seems surreal to me
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enne:
Aww sweetie! I so couldnt believe it when I heard either, I really didnt! It's so weird isnt it!!! frown x
nikonphoto80:
i already told you I was sorry on face book, but I didnt want to not comment here, I hope you feel better.
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whoa....im getting shit at updating here....im on facebook more these days.

i think its just cos im always much more honest on here about how im feeling etc....things that are happening with my mum etc...but lately i just kinda dont want to talk about it if you know what i mean.

on the whole though...its ok....brian finally has a job interview! its only taken nearly...
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lior:
I know you wont smile

I wish I were there now and not stuck here. I'm about ready to snap with it all.
nikonphoto80:
well if you dont want to talk about it then I will not ask, but are things going better with your mom or have they gotten worse?

I really hope he gets the job.

Im glad your little boy is doing so well.

I hope his mom enjoys her stay.

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ive been in a bad place for a couple of days...well...weeks really.

im still kind of there but im trying to get out.


other than that, i actually cant believe how quickly louis is changing....he doesnt seem so baby like anymore...hes got more toddler like.

its really kinda shocked me. he totally has likes and dislikes, favourite toys, least favourite noises, etc.

hes a real...
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shanedoe:
hey, what's up with you? hope you're alright and all!!
cheers!! kiss
lior:
Yeah it sucks. No matter how long you know about it and that its coming it doesn't get any easier.
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is thankfull for the comments....i think we will be ok.....its just super hard at the mo.....nothing seems to be going right, and we both are stressed out.

ive been crap with the workouts lately....i just have lost all motivation
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lior:
Mine too smile

Aaron always forgets important stuff like that, so I take care of it all otherwise it won't get done. But its still driving me mad tongue

I'm going to miss the rats when we go. They're middle aged now, rats only live to around 2 years, so I'm worried someone won't want to take on two older girls frown I'm going to try find a rescue to take them because I don't trust anyone else not to feed them to snakes or set them 'free' - they're domesticated and not like the wild ones, so they panic, can die from stress and usually get eaten by cats or other animals frown
lior:
They are super smart, and cute biggrin

I'm definitely taking them to a rescue I think. I just cant trust people to give them as much attention and love as I do. I'd hate for them to be shoved in a corner and forgotten about frown