people are so entertaining to observe. it's a good thing they keep my interest, or i might have to stop living.
at work, there was a lady who was charged for an extra bagel...at first she was going to get a refund...instead she gave it to a transient man outside, then bought him a coffee(i didn't charge her, but the thought...) i could have given her the bagel for free too...but that wouldn't have made her feel as good.
on my way to the bus, i ran into a co-worker, and her 4 year old daughter. the background: the woman is in her 40's...but has been homeless and away from her daughter for almost a year. she says she wants to get a car, or move back to alabama to get partial custody...yet spends all her money on things like alcohol. she finally has a place, and got her daughter for a few days. this is day three. she called in to work this morning since she had no way to take the child back to her father. she starts telling me about the situation...then scornfully says, "and all she can talk about is how she wants her daddy!" i look at the child's face. she feels horrible...sad...alone. her face falls like someone killed her puppy. i know how she feels. she will grow up to be an interesting person...too bad sadness, pain, and isolation comes along with that. and all i can do is walk away...for the child is not mine...and i may never even see her again. it's how i felt when my ex-girlfriend left...and i told the kids i would see them again someday...knowing that i could no longer be there to protect them. i've also seen from the child's eyes when my grandmother had custody of me, and my mother had visitation. it makes you grow up fast when the "adults" are less mature than a child's mind. i wish our society was set up in a way that the children get cared for regardless of the parent's competance. it takes a villiage, and we have no more of those. guess i need to work harder on creating one.
i went downtown...and saw more beauty. i find strange things beautiful...i found the grusomeness of sin city beautiful...so much that the movie made me cry.
gave a bum some change. dirt was so deep inside the wrinkles of his hand...no amount of soap would start to get it clean. he responded with, "i love you, and your people." i have no idea what was meant by that...but it made me think all the same. if i'd been a certain race, i would have taken offense to the comment i'm sure. i know who "my people" are...both racially, and literally...but i'm not sure that's what he meant.
saw a man guiding a blind man.
talked to a stanger about life, and dreams...how the only thing he wants is to see his children...and meet his grandchildren.
i found college admissions...only to find after my envelopes were opened that i only have 2 transcripts, not three. so...more waiting. i really hope i get into school for the fall. i need it like a drug. school gives me hope. school gives me knowledge. opportunities at my fingertips inside books and people. i feel empty when i'm not seeking to know.
at work, there was a lady who was charged for an extra bagel...at first she was going to get a refund...instead she gave it to a transient man outside, then bought him a coffee(i didn't charge her, but the thought...) i could have given her the bagel for free too...but that wouldn't have made her feel as good.
on my way to the bus, i ran into a co-worker, and her 4 year old daughter. the background: the woman is in her 40's...but has been homeless and away from her daughter for almost a year. she says she wants to get a car, or move back to alabama to get partial custody...yet spends all her money on things like alcohol. she finally has a place, and got her daughter for a few days. this is day three. she called in to work this morning since she had no way to take the child back to her father. she starts telling me about the situation...then scornfully says, "and all she can talk about is how she wants her daddy!" i look at the child's face. she feels horrible...sad...alone. her face falls like someone killed her puppy. i know how she feels. she will grow up to be an interesting person...too bad sadness, pain, and isolation comes along with that. and all i can do is walk away...for the child is not mine...and i may never even see her again. it's how i felt when my ex-girlfriend left...and i told the kids i would see them again someday...knowing that i could no longer be there to protect them. i've also seen from the child's eyes when my grandmother had custody of me, and my mother had visitation. it makes you grow up fast when the "adults" are less mature than a child's mind. i wish our society was set up in a way that the children get cared for regardless of the parent's competance. it takes a villiage, and we have no more of those. guess i need to work harder on creating one.
i went downtown...and saw more beauty. i find strange things beautiful...i found the grusomeness of sin city beautiful...so much that the movie made me cry.
gave a bum some change. dirt was so deep inside the wrinkles of his hand...no amount of soap would start to get it clean. he responded with, "i love you, and your people." i have no idea what was meant by that...but it made me think all the same. if i'd been a certain race, i would have taken offense to the comment i'm sure. i know who "my people" are...both racially, and literally...but i'm not sure that's what he meant.
saw a man guiding a blind man.
talked to a stanger about life, and dreams...how the only thing he wants is to see his children...and meet his grandchildren.
i found college admissions...only to find after my envelopes were opened that i only have 2 transcripts, not three. so...more waiting. i really hope i get into school for the fall. i need it like a drug. school gives me hope. school gives me knowledge. opportunities at my fingertips inside books and people. i feel empty when i'm not seeking to know.