I'm so stressed and furious.
Everything in my life keeps going back and forth. One minute we're talking about the house, the next a boat... and I'm just supposed to go along with it happy as a lark. I really can't deal with this.. Ok, let me explain...
Things have nearly fallen through with the house. We'd have to come up with an additional $3400 that we weren't expecting and have no idea how we could get it.
So, I start focusing on the boat idea again. There are some small boats I could get for less then $5000, and with a little work, and maybe a personal loan, we could get one and the moving money. There's a really amazing community in Marathon, FL. It's not the city I'd like to be in, but it would provide the community that my girls are needing and the safety that I'd need till Alan could come down (people to help and it's a protected harbor in case of hurricane).
But a conversation happened yesterday about how long Alan might be up here... and he was talking about a couple YEARS. Then, today, I bring it up to Steve that Alan's talking about being up here a couple years when we were talking about going south and hi following when we have a little money saved up for him to find a job... And Steve tells me that in the conversation they were having, he was talking about ALL of us staying up here that long and renting a place and maybe doing a house in a couple years.
WTF!
I need a solution sooner then a couple years. I can't keep living in other people's houses. This whole situation is driving me nuts. Alan's thinking one of my daughters needs counseling and thinks I could use it too. Meanwhile, I think we would all be ok if we could just settle down somewhere of our own.
I'm coming really close to saving up and getting Alan to help me one last time and me just getting a boat. Fuck them all, I need to look out for my kids and for myself... I know what WE need, WE need some kind of stability, and if no one here's going to provide it, I'll have to work it out on my own.
What do you guys think, I'm just feeling so lost on it all, and I'm tired of trying to work out one solution, just to have people tell me we're doing another. I think our family hierarchy is failing, and the girls and I are being hurt in the process.
Everything in my life keeps going back and forth. One minute we're talking about the house, the next a boat... and I'm just supposed to go along with it happy as a lark. I really can't deal with this.. Ok, let me explain...
Things have nearly fallen through with the house. We'd have to come up with an additional $3400 that we weren't expecting and have no idea how we could get it.
So, I start focusing on the boat idea again. There are some small boats I could get for less then $5000, and with a little work, and maybe a personal loan, we could get one and the moving money. There's a really amazing community in Marathon, FL. It's not the city I'd like to be in, but it would provide the community that my girls are needing and the safety that I'd need till Alan could come down (people to help and it's a protected harbor in case of hurricane).
But a conversation happened yesterday about how long Alan might be up here... and he was talking about a couple YEARS. Then, today, I bring it up to Steve that Alan's talking about being up here a couple years when we were talking about going south and hi following when we have a little money saved up for him to find a job... And Steve tells me that in the conversation they were having, he was talking about ALL of us staying up here that long and renting a place and maybe doing a house in a couple years.
WTF!
I need a solution sooner then a couple years. I can't keep living in other people's houses. This whole situation is driving me nuts. Alan's thinking one of my daughters needs counseling and thinks I could use it too. Meanwhile, I think we would all be ok if we could just settle down somewhere of our own.
I'm coming really close to saving up and getting Alan to help me one last time and me just getting a boat. Fuck them all, I need to look out for my kids and for myself... I know what WE need, WE need some kind of stability, and if no one here's going to provide it, I'll have to work it out on my own.
What do you guys think, I'm just feeling so lost on it all, and I'm tired of trying to work out one solution, just to have people tell me we're doing another. I think our family hierarchy is failing, and the girls and I are being hurt in the process.
ribbonsundone:
That just sounds like a horrible, horrible situation. I have a question: how does having a house provide stability if you are struggling to keep affording it? I ask that not to be unkind, but just becuase it sounds like there is something about a house (or boat) that feels really different to you then renting a place does, and that is a factor it sounds like neither Alan nor Steve understand. Maybe finding a way to articulate that could help. Also, would renting for a year and building up more of a down payment help at all or feel like an option? Just as a plan to get you precisely wher eyou want to be. Again, I know this is important to you, so I am just offering counterpoints to consider and better understand.
ribbonsundone:
I will write more in a message soon, but the overall message: do what you have to do for YOU!! (and the girls, of course).