wyoh

Another day passing...

For the most part, my girls seem to be feeling better... I'm still feeling kind of crappy, though. I don't think it's from being sick, though. I'm just tired, sore and kind of depressed. I just feel like I'm running in circles and not getting anywhere. It's probably just pre-pms... but that doesn't help much either.I have the "this is all pointless" feeling.

The girls have been back to to arguing, fussing and fighting...

I guess I should work on the wedding pictures some more. Maybe doing something productive like that will help me feel better. Who knows maybe I'll get paid for the pictures like I was told I would be. I think that's where some of my mood started going down hill...

There was supposed to be a wedding liqueur budget of $100 for the reception... there was only $40. So, we spent $20... Now $20 doesn't seem like much, but to us right now, it is. It made it much harder to get through the week. Steve is working, but at minimum wage... and has over $600 in child support a month. And as I haven't really been working in a few months (due to panic attacks), all I have is child support coming in. Of course there was also his court date where he was told he has to pay $2500 or a "reasonable amount" by Nov 20th. We're barely being able to make it by... how are we supposed to come up with a "reasonable amount"?... I don't know... Money is really the root of all evil... or at least of my stresses.

I just really want to get to a point where money isn't so much of an issue, I just don't see much of a way till the kids move out. Then I can just life on a little boat out no where and my cost of living would drop to $1000 again... or if there is only 1 or 2 of us, maybe even lower... Even if I could just find a way to comfortably make the money needed, that may help... I'm just struggling...