I'm not feeling great today. Not awful, not sunken into depression, just... some days feel like they have more point, more potential, than others. Or as U2 simply says, "Some days are better than others."
I slept till I felt like getting up, which was a little after 11. And after a while, went to the gym. See, for me, that's one really nice thing about a gym membership, is that if I'm sitting around, in the mood to do something, but not quite sure what, I can always head over to the gym and do something I know is good for me. So I did my weights, and hopefully I will take myself back later, like I did last night, and run again.
Just to be whiny, I'll mention that I have one of those random cold-aches in my left shoulder blade and left inner-forearm today. I've been getting those in different spots a lot recently, since before starting to work out again, so it is something I'm hoping exercise will help straighten out, not something exercise is causing. And my inner-thigh tendons or groin muscles, something right in there, are still strained from my first or second workout when I did one of the exercises with too much weight. It burns really badly to do any kind of straddle-stretching. I'm really hoping that spending extra time stretching those, which I am, slowly and gradually, will loosen them back up again. Anyway, these really are slight discomforts, not major pains, and I'm just keeping track of them.
I still think the major thing on my mind is the thing I'm probably going to find out tomorrow that I was turned down for. I'm not 100% sure how badly I'm going to take it. Not that well, obviously, because it was something that meant a lot to me, that I don't have a good avenue to pursue any other way right now. But... at the same time, I don't want to let it take me down into the pit again, either. I'm trying to kind of plan out my week in my head, so that I have a list of things to do and places to go, so that hopefully I will still do those things, and hopefully some of them will feel good and help keep me going if I'm not feeling too well (if the news is bad, as I'm afraid it's going to be).
So, yeah, it could easily be that in itself taking my mood down some today. Probably that's it. So, hey, so I don't feel my best today, another day will be better. And meanwhile I think I'm going to finish the end of the book I've been reading, and then maybe sing for a while.
The song I was doing yesterday, I don't think I want to perform Tuesday after all. That's ok though, it's a song I like a lot, and it was cool to spend some time working on it yesterday. The one I'm thinking now that I might do is one of my older ones, it isn't too hard for me to sing and play, and it doesn't have any real particular emotional connotations to it that are hard to go back to. So I think it's a good choice. I think I can work it back to ready with a little time on it today and tomorrow, motivation willing.
The open mic Tuesday night is one of the things I'm hoping I will still do this week, regardless of the news tomorrow. Also, I still have plans to go shooting tomorrow with Mary from my class, and then I'll have work Tuesday and Wednesday, and the last two days of class Wed. and Thurs. And of course the gym, keeping up my workouts now that I've started them again. So, I have enough things to keep me moving and busy for the week, and that's probably good.
And as for this thing I was trying to do... the more I think about it, the more I really want to do it. And this was the perfect way, and it is NOT RIGHT if this doesn't happen, and any other way is going to be much more complicated and difficult, but... I'm still trying to think of another way that would be feasible, if this way turns out not to have worked out after all.
I keep talking about it so much that it's kind of stupid not to just say out what it is, but at this point, I'm just gonna stick to my original thing that I'll be specific about what it was when I know for sure whether I'm getting to do this or not.
I slept till I felt like getting up, which was a little after 11. And after a while, went to the gym. See, for me, that's one really nice thing about a gym membership, is that if I'm sitting around, in the mood to do something, but not quite sure what, I can always head over to the gym and do something I know is good for me. So I did my weights, and hopefully I will take myself back later, like I did last night, and run again.
Just to be whiny, I'll mention that I have one of those random cold-aches in my left shoulder blade and left inner-forearm today. I've been getting those in different spots a lot recently, since before starting to work out again, so it is something I'm hoping exercise will help straighten out, not something exercise is causing. And my inner-thigh tendons or groin muscles, something right in there, are still strained from my first or second workout when I did one of the exercises with too much weight. It burns really badly to do any kind of straddle-stretching. I'm really hoping that spending extra time stretching those, which I am, slowly and gradually, will loosen them back up again. Anyway, these really are slight discomforts, not major pains, and I'm just keeping track of them.
I still think the major thing on my mind is the thing I'm probably going to find out tomorrow that I was turned down for. I'm not 100% sure how badly I'm going to take it. Not that well, obviously, because it was something that meant a lot to me, that I don't have a good avenue to pursue any other way right now. But... at the same time, I don't want to let it take me down into the pit again, either. I'm trying to kind of plan out my week in my head, so that I have a list of things to do and places to go, so that hopefully I will still do those things, and hopefully some of them will feel good and help keep me going if I'm not feeling too well (if the news is bad, as I'm afraid it's going to be).
So, yeah, it could easily be that in itself taking my mood down some today. Probably that's it. So, hey, so I don't feel my best today, another day will be better. And meanwhile I think I'm going to finish the end of the book I've been reading, and then maybe sing for a while.
The song I was doing yesterday, I don't think I want to perform Tuesday after all. That's ok though, it's a song I like a lot, and it was cool to spend some time working on it yesterday. The one I'm thinking now that I might do is one of my older ones, it isn't too hard for me to sing and play, and it doesn't have any real particular emotional connotations to it that are hard to go back to. So I think it's a good choice. I think I can work it back to ready with a little time on it today and tomorrow, motivation willing.
The open mic Tuesday night is one of the things I'm hoping I will still do this week, regardless of the news tomorrow. Also, I still have plans to go shooting tomorrow with Mary from my class, and then I'll have work Tuesday and Wednesday, and the last two days of class Wed. and Thurs. And of course the gym, keeping up my workouts now that I've started them again. So, I have enough things to keep me moving and busy for the week, and that's probably good.
And as for this thing I was trying to do... the more I think about it, the more I really want to do it. And this was the perfect way, and it is NOT RIGHT if this doesn't happen, and any other way is going to be much more complicated and difficult, but... I'm still trying to think of another way that would be feasible, if this way turns out not to have worked out after all.
I keep talking about it so much that it's kind of stupid not to just say out what it is, but at this point, I'm just gonna stick to my original thing that I'll be specific about what it was when I know for sure whether I'm getting to do this or not.