wrigley

so i'm at my parents house now. until my new lease starts. all i have left to do is e-mail an essay to my professor. by tomorrow. i'm halfway done with it, i just can't motivate myself right now. all i want to do is lay in my nice bed in my clean pretty room. haha. hopefully i'll be up in the city most of the time i'm here. i plan on doing some new tattoo work, but i guess it'll just be surprise when you all see it. it's getting close to my birthday (aka when the baby would have been due). it's making me really nervous. i wish i knew how i was going to feel or what was going to happen, then at least i could prepare. it's so odd, that it's been 9 months already and i still remember every moment so vividly. and it still hurts just as much. meanwhile, everyone keeps telling me how much better i looked last year when i was thinner....mom, dad, richie, shaun,...it seems to be the popular consensus. it's just giving me anxiety.

leave some love.



so today my mom and i went shopping. we're doing my new room at school in brown, pink, and blue. it'll be cute and pretty and totally me, i hope. we had a talk about my birthday too, and she knows that i just want to ignore it and celebrate the week after, so, hopefully that will be ok. i was really sad about it today. i mean, i'm sad about it everday, but i cried about it again today. if only i knew what i was supposed to do. unfortunately i have no chick friends here at home either, and it's hard to talk to the guys about it. try as they do, they just don't get it. i'm supposed to go see shaun tomorrow night. i hope everything goes well with that. i feel like i need to know he's in my life and there for me, and that is scary. i'm not sure i was ready to go down this road again. but it seems to just be unstoppable. i took some new pictures today of me, so i'll try to get them up soon so you guys can see the current look.

xoxox