wren

Last night I went to hang out with some of devilducky's friends. We watched Underworld: Evolution. Allow me to give you a rundown:

Vampires shoot at other vampires. Vampires shoot at werewolves. Vampires pretend to have sex but are really kneeing each other in the crotch. Vampires shoot at other vampires some more. Vampires shoot at werewolves some more.

OMG Selene slammed her guns together to reload her magazines. OMG SHE DID IT AGAIN. Am I supposed to be impressed by this horseshit? I mean, it's really REALLY shiny, so I feel like I'm supposed to be impressed. Instead it's just painfully lazy writing. "Selene shoots at William. Selene does a backflip through a broken bridge and shoots at Wiliam some more." Really? And the more I thought about it the madder I got, because I used to write a lot of vampire stories. And in MY vampire stories, the vampires were REAL vampires, not these latex-clad pussies who don't know how to fight without weapons. Vampires are supposed to kill each other with their bare hands and their mouths. THATS WHY THEY HAVE FANGS MOTHERFUCKER TO KILL THINGS WITH. THINGS THAT BLEED.