wren

oh wow, I'm sorry to hear of your loss and sadness.

I could be ajerk and post Zelda again.....but I'll save that for another day.

Hey, I saw your profile/set a while ago, and thought you were absolutely beautiful, so that is how I read your journal. I truly can not imagine what you are going through, and especially because I don't know the situation behind it, but I have seen the pain others go through. I have been a nurse for 4 years, and a tech (helps the nurse) before that, so I have seen many people suffer due to the loss of a family member. There are times when I have a patient dying, I come in and out with the family as much as they want/need me to be there. The last patient I had admitted with a seemingly minor problem, then eventually, it was found to be much worse. After the patient died, I sat and hugged her daughter and could not help but cry, as 'unproffessional' as that may seem, and thought, "What if this was me, with my mother dying, and having to leave her here, never to see here again," so I do not understand how people like you have the strength to get through it, I truly don't. I have also had a man, like a grandfather, but not by blood, and he knew he was dying with not much hope to survive out of pain, so he peacefully died at home with loved ones around...it is good and bad; you expect it, but jsut waiting for hours to watch them take the last breath is hard... You are a strong person, and if you ever need to break down and write a tearfilled message, you can send me one. Just get it all out, and since for now I am a stranger, maybe it will be easier. I hope you get through this, as I know you will, and I hope you have a strong family/friend support group around you.