I've come to an interesting mental crossroads. One worthy of an anime reference, even.
For those of you who don't know of Rock Lee, let me first offer an introduction. In the anime series Naruto, everyone is a ninja. Everyone. Most of these elite warriors have access to all sorts of fabulous attacks that they sacrifice their own energy (chakra) to use. Everyone except Rock Lee. For some reason or another, Lee is unable to properly channel his chakra for any other purpose then simple, brutal hand to hand combat. Moreover, he is determined to prove that he can be the equal of any other ninja by working hard and mastering any and every form of taijutsu (hand to hand techniques).
Throughout the series he suffers under his quasi-disability and during a particular brutal fight he gets his right arm and leg crushed. During his recuperation, he gets the bad news that some of his bone fragments have found their way into his spine (I don't know how feasible that is, so I ask that you please suspend your disbelief as I have). He has a choice - either live the rest of his life as a cripple or undergo a severely dangerous surgery procedure with a 30% chance of success that will kill him if it fails. With the tenacity that I've grown to admire so much in the character, he decides that his dream of being a ninja is as important (if not moreso) than his life. He gets the surgery and gives up the crutch he could've lived the rest of his days on.
The point of this poorly written example is that I find myself at a similar crossroads. I'm on my own - truly - for the first time in my life. Up until this point I've been using everyone - friends, family, co-workers, etc - as a crutch and its kept me from pursuing my own ends. This isn't new news, I'm just looking at it in a different way. I've been found wanting.
Time to break this rusty cage and run.
For those of you who don't know of Rock Lee, let me first offer an introduction. In the anime series Naruto, everyone is a ninja. Everyone. Most of these elite warriors have access to all sorts of fabulous attacks that they sacrifice their own energy (chakra) to use. Everyone except Rock Lee. For some reason or another, Lee is unable to properly channel his chakra for any other purpose then simple, brutal hand to hand combat. Moreover, he is determined to prove that he can be the equal of any other ninja by working hard and mastering any and every form of taijutsu (hand to hand techniques).
Throughout the series he suffers under his quasi-disability and during a particular brutal fight he gets his right arm and leg crushed. During his recuperation, he gets the bad news that some of his bone fragments have found their way into his spine (I don't know how feasible that is, so I ask that you please suspend your disbelief as I have). He has a choice - either live the rest of his life as a cripple or undergo a severely dangerous surgery procedure with a 30% chance of success that will kill him if it fails. With the tenacity that I've grown to admire so much in the character, he decides that his dream of being a ninja is as important (if not moreso) than his life. He gets the surgery and gives up the crutch he could've lived the rest of his days on.
The point of this poorly written example is that I find myself at a similar crossroads. I'm on my own - truly - for the first time in my life. Up until this point I've been using everyone - friends, family, co-workers, etc - as a crutch and its kept me from pursuing my own ends. This isn't new news, I'm just looking at it in a different way. I've been found wanting.
Time to break this rusty cage and run.