wolverine43

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa
Claus is missing.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay
right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet
Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."


I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they
can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me
what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the
place.

I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice. It's just that when
I leave a house, I go out through the window.