I thought this was funny so I figured I would share it with my fellow Canadians 
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Canada. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada. If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend, you may live in Canada. If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada. If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada If you actually understand these jokes, , you definitely live in Canada.
Oh and as much as I love Hockey and am a Huge Leaf fan, the current state of this team which starts at the dysfunctional ownership group has left a bad taste in my mouth never have I seen it this bad and I live during the Harold Ballard years lol
Well I thought this was fitting and well Hilarious too
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS REVISED 2008 SCHEDULE
January
15 vs. Bloomington Jr. High School Girls
22 vs. Cub Scout Troop #101
29 vs. CNIB Senior Team
February
5 vs. Spanish-American War Vets
12 vs. Crippled Children's Hospital
19 vs. St. Cloud Home for Wayward Girls
26 vs. Girl Scout Troop #69
March
5 vs. Ontario VD Clinic Post #3
12 vs. Church Street Boy's Choir
19 vs. Korean War Amputees
26 vs. VA Hospital Polio Patients
Special Monday Night Game:
March 3 vs. Utopia Gay Boys
Name Change:
The Toronto Maple Leafs will be changed to the Toronto Tampons' as they are only good for one period, and they don't have a second string.
Coaching Change:
Paul Maurice will be replaced by Pamela Anderson. No doubt she will blow a few, but she won't choke up on the BIG ONE.
Rule Changes:
1. When playing the Girl Scouts, the Leafs must not eat their cookies.
2. The Leafs will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time during the game.
3. When playing the Polio Patients, the Leafs must not disconnect any of the leg braces.
4. There will be no more dancing with opposing teams, like the last time they played the Utopia Gay Boys.
5. The Leafs MUST PROMISE to remember that when the referee drops the puck, this signals the beginning of play. This is to ensure that no more time will be wasted while the Leafs try to figure out what just happened.
6. The Leafs must also stop tangling the crippled children in the net mesh.
'GOLF LEAFS GOLF'
P.S. If you are female and happen to be at a Nudist Beach and some guy walks up to you and says "say hello to my little friend" just walk away and don't look back
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Canada. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada. If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Canada If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Muncie for the weekend, you may live in Canada. If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Canada If you can drive 90 kms/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada If the speed limit on the highway is 80km -- you're going 90 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Canada If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada. If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada If you actually understand these jokes, , you definitely live in Canada.
Oh and as much as I love Hockey and am a Huge Leaf fan, the current state of this team which starts at the dysfunctional ownership group has left a bad taste in my mouth never have I seen it this bad and I live during the Harold Ballard years lol
Well I thought this was fitting and well Hilarious too
TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS REVISED 2008 SCHEDULE
January
15 vs. Bloomington Jr. High School Girls
22 vs. Cub Scout Troop #101
29 vs. CNIB Senior Team
February
5 vs. Spanish-American War Vets
12 vs. Crippled Children's Hospital
19 vs. St. Cloud Home for Wayward Girls
26 vs. Girl Scout Troop #69
March
5 vs. Ontario VD Clinic Post #3
12 vs. Church Street Boy's Choir
19 vs. Korean War Amputees
26 vs. VA Hospital Polio Patients
Special Monday Night Game:
March 3 vs. Utopia Gay Boys
Name Change:
The Toronto Maple Leafs will be changed to the Toronto Tampons' as they are only good for one period, and they don't have a second string.
Coaching Change:
Paul Maurice will be replaced by Pamela Anderson. No doubt she will blow a few, but she won't choke up on the BIG ONE.
Rule Changes:
1. When playing the Girl Scouts, the Leafs must not eat their cookies.
2. The Leafs will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time during the game.
3. When playing the Polio Patients, the Leafs must not disconnect any of the leg braces.
4. There will be no more dancing with opposing teams, like the last time they played the Utopia Gay Boys.
5. The Leafs MUST PROMISE to remember that when the referee drops the puck, this signals the beginning of play. This is to ensure that no more time will be wasted while the Leafs try to figure out what just happened.
6. The Leafs must also stop tangling the crippled children in the net mesh.
'GOLF LEAFS GOLF'
P.S. If you are female and happen to be at a Nudist Beach and some guy walks up to you and says "say hello to my little friend" just walk away and don't look back
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=) i'll let you know