So, for the last couple of days, maybe a week or so, I've been feeling odd. I've been disproportionately angry... upset? I don't know the exact feeling, but it's directed towards my brother. He hasn't done anything too bad to warrant any kind of anger or whatever. But I've been feeling it pretty strongly. The last couple of days, yesterday and today, I was talking to my niece about some grievances that she has. Grievances with her father. Turns out, they're all a bit upset with him right now. He's being stupid about their mother, which makes them mad because they know she's just going to hurt him again. It's complicated.
But the point is, I realized that it was exactly what I've been feeling lately. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do that a lot. I'm often angry, or sad, or what have you, on someone else's behalf. Especially when they can't feel or express those emotions themselves for whatever reason. Why do I seem to experience other people's emotions this way? It's it somehow tied to the depression? Something else? I don't know. And I don't have an answer.
Unrelated topic: I'm too critical of myself. I've been down on myself about my weight lately. It's an issue of mine. But I started thinking about it. I've only been doing this, making the changes that I've made, for six months. And in six months time, I've lost around 50+ pounds. That's damn good. I need to stop feeling like it's not going well, because it's only been six freaking months. It took 36 years to gain that weight. It's not coming off all at once.
