Good old cycles of crazy. Sometimes I'm content where I am, keeping the day to day routine going. And other times... I just feel like running away. Maybe just for a short time, maybe for the rest of my life. I don't know.
I don't think I've ever had a proper vacation. Of course, I don't generally believe that I deserve one. Why would I?
I'm tired of feeling like I'm letting the world pass me by. It feels like everyone else in existence is doing something. Everyone else has someone in their lives. Everyone else can leave.
But I feel like I'm in chains. I'm bound to this place, to the wills of other people. I don't do anything for myself anymore, it's always for everyone else.
I want to get out. I want to travel. Hell, despite my fear of it, I want to see the ocean. No, I've seen it before. I want to go out on the ocean. I want to visit other countries. I want to meet other people, experience other cultures...
But I can't. I have no means. No money, no assets of any kind. I've got nothing.
