So, I've been doing a decent job of writing most days for the last couple of weeks. Not always a lot, but on occasion I have a good run. Not the point. I decided today to look at what I've got written at this point. I'm up to a good 30000+ words. The average words per page has that come out to around 80-100 pages...
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I think I actually finished the beginning of my story. That might not mean much to some of you, but to others, you might know how much that means. It's just a small step, of course, in the grand scheme. But somehow, it was also a massive hurdle to get over. Still a lot of work to go, but there's a starting point now.
Is it weird that, as I'm sitting here writing (My new beginning is slowly getting there, about five pages at this point.) I kind of want some company? I wish I had someone here with me, not to talk to, not as a distraction. Just for the company. Normally I want absolute isolation to write. Hell, it's necessary most of the time. But for whatever...
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Soooo... I've realized a couple things. First, I've been stressing about how to accomplish something in the story, only to realize that I don't have to. It's a thing that I can do on small ways throughout, instead of hitting you over the head with it. Second thing I realized? I need to completely rewrite the beginning, I just don't like it. Not that it's...
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Just when I think I'm beginning to understand the meltdowns, and I'm able to stop them before they get too serious...
Usually I'm able to recognize that something is wrong. I'll feel the overstimulation, or whatever is starting to bother me, and I'll be able to work to stop it. But this fucking time.
No idea what happened. Just spent the last hour desperately trying...
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Why does it look like she's my editor getting ready to make changes?
Not sure how I got stuck with candy duty this Halloween, but here I sit. Is it enough to keep occupied and have time pass quickly? Are there enough to at least see interesting costumes? No. And also, no. Halloween just hasn't been the same since I was a kid. Kind of sad. I don't even get to go anywhere to see the sexy costumes....
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So, I just wrote this. And I didn't expect it to make me cry. But I basically just wrote my own suicide. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not doing it. I'm okay. But years ago, I wasn't okay, and I very nearly did it.
Context! Right! Sorry!
The story I'm working on, one of the characters commits suicide. It's unfortunately necessary for the story. But I've...
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So, yesterday my brother's new girlfriend invited us to a holistic fair. Used to be the kind of thing that I would have laughed at, but these days, I was actually grateful for the invite. Especially since she got is in for free, and there was a sound bath scheduled.
I was actually a little disappointed in the main part. I thought, maybe I'd find...
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Been trying to write today to moderate success. But it's constantly being derailed by this little orange monster wanting attention. I love it, of course. Except when she decides that she wants to type too... I've had to delete some Ludo edits from the work.
I'm just glad that what I was working on today was something violent. Had a bad couple of days, and
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You know, even if nobody ends up reading this story I'm working on. Even if I never manage to finish it. I'm so glad that I'm writing it. I just added another, maybe 6 pages worth to it? And I really haven't felt this good in a long time. Every time I manage a solid chunk of work like this, it just feels so amazing....
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