wolfwood

bro's before ho's

(broken up into paragraphs so it's easier for you to read if you actually read it)

[21:54] Princess Beatnik: ok, call me when you get to the house, Anthony doesn't want Kiki up here if he;s here
[21:55] smarteriestkid: jackass

That pisses me off so much. Ok, Nate and Kiki broke up, and no, it wasn't a good break up and now they're all happy, but it was just your average break up. She didn't sleep with his best friend, steal all his money, give him HIV, or basically do anything terrible to him, other than that she didn't like him in a romantic way and broke up with him.

So now Anthony, because he's Nate's friend (and my friend, too) is doing the whole "guys stick together" shit and hating Kiki just because her and Nate broke up. No one else is doing this. This makes Vash look so much more, well, enlightened, and not like a misogenist compared to Anthony, and if just met both of them you'd think it'd be the other way around, because Vash can be a jackass and he didn't go to college and he's "alterative" or "goth" or whatever you want to call it and does drugs, and Anthony is this music major guy who prides himself on having excellent manners. When Joel and I broke up a long time ago, Vash was still friends with me, and he still is. He didn't pull this stupid crap and all of a sudden because his friend broke up with some girl, that now they all have to hate her, whether she did anything bad to the guy or not. That just pisses me off so much that Anthony is doing this, and I hate to fucking go off on him, but he's being a misogenist, male chauvenist pig, sexist, caveman, stupid bastard (I would say neatherthal, but that's an insult to the neanderthals). It's like, "oh, Nate and Kiki broke up so now to be a loyal friend I have to treat Kiki like shit." And it's not like he hates Kiki when Nate and Kiki were going out and just acted nice to her. That just makes me so mad that he's doing that. I do think he is a bit of a misogenist.

He treats his girlfriend pretty bad, too. Some of the stuff with them is just that they live together and they get on each other's nerves and they both do the exact opposite of what they should do, but I do think part of it is that Anthony is a big of a misogenist. He doesn't do his share of work around the house, because "[he] doesn't care if it's messy" and it's like, you live with someone else, it doesn't matter if you like messy stuff or not. Living with another person is about making compromises and doing your fair share of the work. He's really controlling with, like he doesn't want her doing drugs, even though he does. And it's not like crack and stuff. It's things like adderall and pot and downers. Like if they go to a party, he'll get bad if she gets drunk, but if she's not there, he'll do like a dozen shots at least. And he asked to buy some speed from me when I could still get some (wish I still could ) and he was telling her that he didn't want her doing speed because it was really dangerous, and he doesn't know anything about speed, or pretty much any drugs. Or like once Melanie was here at a party, and she was talking to this guy Blake that she knew from high school, and Anthony got really pissed off because he thought she was flirting with Blake and he didn't know that she knew him from before. So basically he's really controlling. And I've known guys who had girlfriends like that, too, so it's not like I'm just ranting about guys doing that. People who try to control their partners are really bad news.

So yeah, he doesn't treat Melanie (his girlfriend) very well, and then he pulls this shit about Kiki. He's nice to me, but I'm his friend. Maybe it's because he's italian, but he's not even first or second generation italian. I think part of it is that he thinks he has such great manners and Nate thinks that he (Nate) is such a nice guy, so that because they both think that they're so great, they never think anything they do is wrong, or ever think that they're being assholes, wheras with all the people who admit to themselves that they're assholes (or can be), they don't bullshit themselves and be like "but I'm such a nice person." God, it just pisses me off so much because he's my friend and I never really noticed that he acted that way before and I've known him for five years, and now it's like, oh, well Anthony's not a feminist and he can actually be a real bastard in a lot of really bad ways. It just makes all the other guys I know look so much better in comparison, because it's like, "Hey, they don't (sub)consciously think that women are inferior to them! Grand!"

And I don't know, maybe it's something that he doesn't realize he's doing it, or maybe he does really think that women are inferior to him. I mean, Melanie and him both push each other's buttons, but it's like, living with someone who thinks you're an inferior being can not be healthy for you. And honestly, I'm probably not going to say anything about it Anthony or Nate directly, because it would just make my friendship with them even worse, or just kill it entirely, and I'm too pissed off about it right now to say anything to them without blowing up at them, or to say anything that's going to get through to them and make them realize what they're doing is wrong. I'm sure I'll talk to everyone else I know about it so eventually it might get back to them through a source they're willing to listen to that they're being bastards. Or maybe, not, I don't know. I have a hard time wanting to stay friends with anyone who thinks half the world (or more than that since he's probably racist too) is inferior to him. And while I don't think Nate is sexist, I think he's avoidant and he doesn't deal with his emotions well. Like how I've said before that he'll not talk to the person who upset him, because he's such a "nice" guy, but then he'll blow up at someone else who didn't do anything to him. And sometimes he can get scary angry, like screaming fights and choking people angry. I definitely think I'm going to avoid being around either of them for at least a very long time.

I need new friends anyway. My circle of friends in unhealthily small so that it gets to the point where I can't say what I think to other people, because I don't want to burn my bridges with them since I know I'll probably see them on a regular basis for a while at least. I'm just so bad at making friends, but I guess I'll try. It's hard too, because I'm this "alternative/druggie/weirdo/goth/whatever you want to call it, different basically" person at a huge preppy school with very few people like me. There were waaaaaaaay more people like me in high school probably at least 10% of the school, and here it's maybe 300 people out of 40,000. I guess I could hang out at coffee shops or something; basically get out of the house at all because I don't except for work and school. I like being at home. At least I stick out enough visually that if my type of people are around, it won't be hard for them to find me.