wolfwood

I slept all day, literally. I went to bed around 11 or 12, got up at noon, went back to sleep after about a couple hours, and finally got up around 4:30 so I could go grab my check before the library closed. So now I've gotten nothing done all day, and I didn't go work at my dad's, and I have to go to bed early tonight because we're going to the state fair tomorrow. I feel mad at myself for wasting the whole day; I should've gone to work, and now I'm just in this mood where nothing pleases me. I don't want to read any of the books I checked out from the library (most of them aren't very good, anyway. I skimmed them all but I don't think I'm going to read the shitty ones), I don't want to listen to any of the music I have, no one's updated their journals online, there's nothing on tv, and I don't want to watch a movie. I need to clean the apartment and I have a lot of stuff to get done before I move (one week from today). I was supposed to call Vash to ask himif he wants to go to the fair tomorrow, but now I probably won't be able to get a hold of him. Anthony's back in Milwaukee, but I don't want him to go with us because he's probably going to act like a total cunt since he's Nate's friend (and everyone else's friend, too, but nevermind that) and Nate and Kiki broke up, and he's doing the whole "I'm siding with Nate and I have to condone everything he does" bit. And Melanie's probably going to make some little snide remarks about what I'm wearing, because she's jealous that she doesn't look like Kiki and me. She's got really low self-esteem about her looks; she's really smart, and really, really smart in math, and she's pretty much competent in everything else except her looks. She doesn't bathe a lot, and she doesn't do anything with her hair, or wear make up, and she doesn't try to buy clothes she likes; she only goes shopping if her clothes don't fit and they're falling apart, and all of that would be fine if she were satisfied with the way she looks, but she's not, and so she gets jealous of other people and if she wasn't pudgy she'd have an A cup, so she gets jealous of the fact that I have a C cup, and she has a lot of self-esteem issues connected to the way she looks, and a lot of her world view comes from the way she looks, like she thinks people don't like her because she's ugly, and things like that, but then she doesn't do anything to make herself feel better about how she looks. And then it really pisses me off because she's really insecure about her own looks, so she talks shit all the time about people who look good, and how they're all shallow and stupid, etc. or how her friend Becky is a total slut (Becky is really pretty) and all this other crap just because she herself doesn't like the way she looks, and I really don't like it when people lash out at other people for stuff that is their own problem.

A lot of people are fucking with this one community I got to on deadjournal. It's a pro-ana/mia community, but it's also to help people who are recovering, and in general just a place for people with ed to come talk about their shit without someone people like, "You look great! Eat something!" and the moderator/owner died of anorexia, and now that he's gone, we don't have a mod and they didn't/can't appoint a new one, and so we get all these people fucking with the community and making up dj people to post and mock everyone, and it's supposed to be a support community. One of the girls who left made up a character, and it even says in her profile, "this is a character I made up," and they just post really dumb shit and do stupid internet spelling and all this crap, and it really pisses me off because there's no one to ban them, and like I said, it's supposed to be a supportive community, and it's hard to be supportive or feel support with a bunch of dumbasses running around trying to be funny and annoying everyone. It really makes me mad that they do that.