I had written up this really good entry yesterday, and then just when I hit "save entry" my computer went offline and now it's gone forever 
On Sunday I stayed home because I didn't have to work, and I ate a ton of food. Then I got really sick at about 2 am, and was up until seven throwing up and other things, so I couldn't go to work at my dad's on Monday. Then on Monday (yesterday), I ended up eating a ton of food because I felt better, and then I got sick at about 3 am this morning until around 7, and I'm feel a bit better now but I'm not sure if I'll go out to my dad's. I'm definitely not eating any food today, that's for sure. I've never felt that awful, ever, that I can remember.
I finished the first Harry Potter book, and Quidditch Through the Ages, so now I'm going to take a shower because I haven't bathed since Saturday and head over to work to get the books. As I said in the post that I never got to post, it's pretty official that Snape is by far the sexiest character in the book, and my favorite, of course. Mmmm. It's pretty sad too because I've been seeing this guy for a little while, but I never think about him: I think about Harry Potter books and Snape. I am quite the hp otaku.
Nate posted pictures of people being over yesterday at his place, and of course as soon as I see them I think to myself "Why wasn't I there?" and it's like well I was sick, I wouldn't have gone if they asked me because I wanted to stay home and read Harry Potter books, I'm a loner so people have learned not to ask me anyway not that they'd want to, and Vash and Kiki were the only other people there and Vash is always there and Kiki is Nate's girlfriend so of course she'd be there. So I pretty much just answered by own queston and I can honestly say to myself that I wouldn't have wanted to go, and I had a better time alone, reading Harry Potter books, but still there's always part of me that's like "why didn't I do the other thing?" You know, the whole "grass is greener" bit. It's much more romatic to be a loner when you don't feel quite so alone. Honestly, though I am loner. I prefer being alone. I could spend the rest of my life alone, dicking around on the internet, and reading Harry Potter books, and I'd be pretty happy. It's just that I'd like to have people asking me to do things so I'd feel wanted, even if I'd always turn them down, in which case they'd naturally stop asking me after a time, but they wouldn't ask me in the first place because I have a horrible personality and it's a damn miracle that I have any friends at all. I haven't had any close friends since Jessica, and the last time we were really close was six years ago, now we're just sort of friends. I am not a people person. I don't know if I've become that way because I have such a terrible personality, or if I was that way to start with and my personality adapted to suit that. Either way, it's good that I prefer to be alone because no one would want to be around me in the first place, and I can't honestly say I want to be around other people for companionship; it's just so that I can pretend that people might acutally like me and so that I can feel wanted. And that's a fucking stupid, bullshit, egotistical reason to want to be around other people.
On Sunday I stayed home because I didn't have to work, and I ate a ton of food. Then I got really sick at about 2 am, and was up until seven throwing up and other things, so I couldn't go to work at my dad's on Monday. Then on Monday (yesterday), I ended up eating a ton of food because I felt better, and then I got sick at about 3 am this morning until around 7, and I'm feel a bit better now but I'm not sure if I'll go out to my dad's. I'm definitely not eating any food today, that's for sure. I've never felt that awful, ever, that I can remember.
I finished the first Harry Potter book, and Quidditch Through the Ages, so now I'm going to take a shower because I haven't bathed since Saturday and head over to work to get the books. As I said in the post that I never got to post, it's pretty official that Snape is by far the sexiest character in the book, and my favorite, of course. Mmmm. It's pretty sad too because I've been seeing this guy for a little while, but I never think about him: I think about Harry Potter books and Snape. I am quite the hp otaku.
Nate posted pictures of people being over yesterday at his place, and of course as soon as I see them I think to myself "Why wasn't I there?" and it's like well I was sick, I wouldn't have gone if they asked me because I wanted to stay home and read Harry Potter books, I'm a loner so people have learned not to ask me anyway not that they'd want to, and Vash and Kiki were the only other people there and Vash is always there and Kiki is Nate's girlfriend so of course she'd be there. So I pretty much just answered by own queston and I can honestly say to myself that I wouldn't have wanted to go, and I had a better time alone, reading Harry Potter books, but still there's always part of me that's like "why didn't I do the other thing?" You know, the whole "grass is greener" bit. It's much more romatic to be a loner when you don't feel quite so alone. Honestly, though I am loner. I prefer being alone. I could spend the rest of my life alone, dicking around on the internet, and reading Harry Potter books, and I'd be pretty happy. It's just that I'd like to have people asking me to do things so I'd feel wanted, even if I'd always turn them down, in which case they'd naturally stop asking me after a time, but they wouldn't ask me in the first place because I have a horrible personality and it's a damn miracle that I have any friends at all. I haven't had any close friends since Jessica, and the last time we were really close was six years ago, now we're just sort of friends. I am not a people person. I don't know if I've become that way because I have such a terrible personality, or if I was that way to start with and my personality adapted to suit that. Either way, it's good that I prefer to be alone because no one would want to be around me in the first place, and I can't honestly say I want to be around other people for companionship; it's just so that I can pretend that people might acutally like me and so that I can feel wanted. And that's a fucking stupid, bullshit, egotistical reason to want to be around other people.