wolfcrap

I've been doing a lot of inner searching, rationalizing, breaking it all down and rethinking over and over. I've come a long way since my younger days obviously. I'm not a clean freak like I used to be, overcame my germ issues years ago. I am always trying to embrace my more natural aspects. We are animals and in that sense I try to hold that part of me equally with my civil nature. Morality has changed over the years but not in a negative way. I don't like how spoiled we are," I want this so I shall have it and many options more." I try my best to utilize a survival aspect as much as possible, but considering my surroundings my behaviors tend to mimic... ugh.

I don't want to stop eating meat, I was born an omnivore and I will stay that way. I have canines and grinders for this purpose. I just don't want to arrogantly grab at any package laying around that was mass produced solely to over fill my belly and those around me. I'm deeply reconsidering hunting. Not for sport, I intend to use every part, all of it can serve a purpose. Most importantly it would not be year round. I was looking back on primates eating habits and what not since we are so closely related as well as other omnivores. Light meat scattered throughout the seasons and slightly more concentrated in the winters.

I'm tired of city life, and the way things are overall. I love the creation of art and my technology is wonderful for assisting that... but outside of that I just grow tired of all this. I've been brought up in it so I use it so daily that breaking from it is almost unheard of. I rarely if at all, watch TV. I use my computer mostly for exploration and "travel"

I really love reading about self sufficient homes and stuff like that. I want to go off the grid. I'd love nothing more than to build my own house perhaps have a small bookstore with a little cafe bar kinda thing attached. Go hunting, have my own gardens and greenhouse, cook for my customers if I have any, make my own beers and liquors, and just spend my "down" time reading from my books and building up my overall trivial but very necessary knowledge.

I think my biggest problem is the fact that I don't have a lot of support in my life and those that do see it solely as a dreamers dream kind of thing. I'd love nothing more than to help work with a group of like minded people, pool together funds and build a community. Art is especially important obviously and would have to be incorporated into it all.

I don't know... I just wish I had some options.