Usually I feel that if I have nothing but whining to write here I should just not update, but today I'm thinking "why the fuck not? I pay for this shit and don't force anybody to read it".
Anyway, I feel shit. I feel uneasy emotionally and in consequence physically. I feel like I haven't been taking the happy pills even though I have. I feel like going back to bed yet again - sleeping or at least hiding under the covers all day.
As usual I don't know if I feel bad because I'm worrying about things or am worrying because I feel bad. Probably both. I'm supposed to be going back to school in less than a month and studying fashion design (yeah, laugh it up) and I was excited about it until the other day I remembered how last time I was studying I was so sick of it and swore I was over it forever. Maybe I just want to stay home and make clothes and I just wanted the study to make it seem official. Of course now I'm worrying I can't get myself to settle to a task and I'm making nothing.
Usually going to yoga would help but my hamstrings hate me. I got a twinge from the previously uninjured left one yesterday and not doing forward bends makes the Astanga primary series rather short and awkward. I should go anyway and learn and grow from this and not be frustrated or something.
There you go. Angst in lieu of news. I have to admit it made me feel slightly better.
Anyway, I feel shit. I feel uneasy emotionally and in consequence physically. I feel like I haven't been taking the happy pills even though I have. I feel like going back to bed yet again - sleeping or at least hiding under the covers all day.
As usual I don't know if I feel bad because I'm worrying about things or am worrying because I feel bad. Probably both. I'm supposed to be going back to school in less than a month and studying fashion design (yeah, laugh it up) and I was excited about it until the other day I remembered how last time I was studying I was so sick of it and swore I was over it forever. Maybe I just want to stay home and make clothes and I just wanted the study to make it seem official. Of course now I'm worrying I can't get myself to settle to a task and I'm making nothing.
Usually going to yoga would help but my hamstrings hate me. I got a twinge from the previously uninjured left one yesterday and not doing forward bends makes the Astanga primary series rather short and awkward. I should go anyway and learn and grow from this and not be frustrated or something.
There you go. Angst in lieu of news. I have to admit it made me feel slightly better.
Angst is ok. I'm pretty angsty right now too. Also I think writing about these things is very cathartic. I just wrote a huge long email of angst and it made me feel SO much better to get it out.