witchartist

Hi Blog...
Sorry, I had to get my emotions in check before I wrote this entry today. This Blog has been my emotional forum. All the people here at SG have been so sweet to me...my friends here, ladies I''ve drawn portraits of and those I am working on drawings of now. Missy, who has been so sweet to write back when I write to her. There are a few ladies here who go beyond the label of "friend" ...who have helped me to cope with their words of encouragement. I am truly blessed and I never want to forget that fact. I have struggled with depression for years...over 40 years as it turns out, most of my life. The pain comes and goes which is normal when one is dealing with deeply rooted issues that affect his or her emotional state. It boils down to a need to feel special, cared for, appreciated...something I never felt for most of my life. Oh my parents and family cared about me, but the emotional strength and feelings of self-esteem I needed to have to move into adolescence and adulthood were never built in me, never realized. I am only now beginning to understand how the nonexistant self-esteem and bullying (eight years of it) affected my emotional development as a human being. I hope as I work with a new therapist I can get to the heart of these issues and recover some sense of self-worth. I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need to say these things to people I love...all of you. My poor old heart would break beyond repair to lose what I have found here. I hoe this isn't too depressing a post. I need to try and concentrate on the positive things in life...my students and their amazing artwork. Playing my pipes and creating my own art. I think I know why I wanted to go into school counseling...to help kids realize that they are precious individuals, worth more than they can possibly know and that they are special people, capable of doing anything they care to try. Well, thank you for listening and to all of you, love, peace, and many gentle blessings.