wisdomhope

i have a lot to get used to.
it feels like half of me has just been ripped away. there's a void where i held mike in my heart. he insists that he and the bitch didn't do anything but i really don't even care. i'm done with the mind games and being controlled like a child. i'm tired of begging him to talk to me and for some sort of explanation as to why he won't. i don't need someone who is only available when it's convenient for them. it hurts, but i knew breaking up with him would. for the last year he's been all i really cared about. i was going to throw my life away for him, just so i'd move to jersey and have the life that HE wanted. jersey's never even been a speedbump in my plans. fuck it. now he's out doing whatever the fuck he wants with some crack whore and hitting on my little sister's friend. i hope he chokes out the wrong bitch and goes to jail. his children are bound to have birth defects. honestly, it doesn't make me feel sorry for him one bit. he deserves whatever harm comes to him.

i'm going to chill with nick and some people at the parking deck :] this will be interesting for sure.