I had a dream last night. It kind of makes me wonder. And then i think, does that act of wondering make it so that it has to be?
sort of like, if you have to ask if you believe in something, doesn't that already mean you already believe it? That your just trying to reconcile your gut feeling with what your head is saying?
But anyway, about my dream:
I don't remember much, but the part I do remember stayed with me.
I was in some sort of coffee shop (I guess it was Starbucks, even though I don't like starbucks. I don't remember if I noticed the name or not, as it really wasn't that important)
Anyway, I was doing something - I can't remember what - and these two girls walk in. My first impression is that they are a couple, but that impression soon leaves when one of the girls approaches me. She's physically flirtatious in a way that I suppose is only acceptable in dreams...and in my head I'm thinking, "I have a girlfriend, I should tell her so she will stop," but it feels so nice to be getting the attention that I'm getting from this girl, who happens to be pretty short, and has really short hair (it almost looks like it was painted on) and beautiful. smooth caramel skin. And I remember looking into her eyes and thinking, "she is so beautiful, and she's giving me the physical attention that I've been craving for so long. How can it be wrong when I'm not getting it from my girlfriend. I need this."
- - then the cat started playing with a cardboard box and woke me up. .. .sigh - -
but then my girl actually turns around in bed and puts her arm around me. and i latch on to it because it feels so good to have her touching me, for once . . . to actually have her in bed with me (how long has it been). .. but even that didn't last.
She got up to use the bathroom and never came back to bed. It always seems like it's some excuse. I had cramps and was fidgety and didn't want to keep you up - I wanted to sleep with the cats (since I've banned the kitten from the room for being so annoyingly playful all night), I fell asleep on the couch, you were sleeping diagonally and i couldn't move you (hmm, maybe if I knew I actually had a bed mate, I wouldn't subconsciously sleep as if I'm the only one that sleeps in the bed) . .. . i don't know. . .have you ever wanted to ask a question, but was afraid of the answer, so you never do ask?
That same question keeps coming up in my head. And I don't know if I want to know the answer again. It might be the same one that I got last time. But I think the answer that I fear, will also free me.
Ok, back to my homework before I let this get to me emotionally.
(i guess i wanted to get some stuff off my chest, apparently)
sort of like, if you have to ask if you believe in something, doesn't that already mean you already believe it? That your just trying to reconcile your gut feeling with what your head is saying?
But anyway, about my dream:
I don't remember much, but the part I do remember stayed with me.
I was in some sort of coffee shop (I guess it was Starbucks, even though I don't like starbucks. I don't remember if I noticed the name or not, as it really wasn't that important)
Anyway, I was doing something - I can't remember what - and these two girls walk in. My first impression is that they are a couple, but that impression soon leaves when one of the girls approaches me. She's physically flirtatious in a way that I suppose is only acceptable in dreams...and in my head I'm thinking, "I have a girlfriend, I should tell her so she will stop," but it feels so nice to be getting the attention that I'm getting from this girl, who happens to be pretty short, and has really short hair (it almost looks like it was painted on) and beautiful. smooth caramel skin. And I remember looking into her eyes and thinking, "she is so beautiful, and she's giving me the physical attention that I've been craving for so long. How can it be wrong when I'm not getting it from my girlfriend. I need this."
- - then the cat started playing with a cardboard box and woke me up. .. .sigh - -
but then my girl actually turns around in bed and puts her arm around me. and i latch on to it because it feels so good to have her touching me, for once . . . to actually have her in bed with me (how long has it been). .. but even that didn't last.
She got up to use the bathroom and never came back to bed. It always seems like it's some excuse. I had cramps and was fidgety and didn't want to keep you up - I wanted to sleep with the cats (since I've banned the kitten from the room for being so annoyingly playful all night), I fell asleep on the couch, you were sleeping diagonally and i couldn't move you (hmm, maybe if I knew I actually had a bed mate, I wouldn't subconsciously sleep as if I'm the only one that sleeps in the bed) . .. . i don't know. . .have you ever wanted to ask a question, but was afraid of the answer, so you never do ask?
That same question keeps coming up in my head. And I don't know if I want to know the answer again. It might be the same one that I got last time. But I think the answer that I fear, will also free me.
Ok, back to my homework before I let this get to me emotionally.
(i guess i wanted to get some stuff off my chest, apparently)