Busy Busy Bee...That's Me... 
I have had no time to be miss active online chica lately...but that's pretty much nothing new... between packing, school, work, and a weekend in d.c. to show me that I really don't fit in with my childhood friends, there has been no real me time. (Except for the half hour I got in the corner gay-friendly internet cafe to finish my homework -- why did that end up being the best part of my weekend?)
At least when I move I'll have 4 hours driving time in my daily routine to spend with just me and my music/podcasts/audiobooks. And hopefully I'll get a new iPod and real radio put in my car.
This weekend sort of showed me how much I truly do hide who I am...and that kind of depresses me...ok, fine, I was about to start one of my "crying for hours for no reason" episodes as I waited in my mother's car for her to come out of a store...hmmmm...its like a part from a song that I'm writing:
When I look into her eyes, I realize
I've been living my whole life in disguise
I want to be free
I want to be me
I'm tired of living this stupid lie
grrrr....I really need to stop being afraid of just being myself...but how do you do that when you don't know who yourself really is?
Goodness
This turned into quite a rant...I guess I should return to my packing. . ..
I have had no time to be miss active online chica lately...but that's pretty much nothing new... between packing, school, work, and a weekend in d.c. to show me that I really don't fit in with my childhood friends, there has been no real me time. (Except for the half hour I got in the corner gay-friendly internet cafe to finish my homework -- why did that end up being the best part of my weekend?)
At least when I move I'll have 4 hours driving time in my daily routine to spend with just me and my music/podcasts/audiobooks. And hopefully I'll get a new iPod and real radio put in my car.
This weekend sort of showed me how much I truly do hide who I am...and that kind of depresses me...ok, fine, I was about to start one of my "crying for hours for no reason" episodes as I waited in my mother's car for her to come out of a store...hmmmm...its like a part from a song that I'm writing:
When I look into her eyes, I realize
I've been living my whole life in disguise
I want to be free
I want to be me
I'm tired of living this stupid lie
grrrr....I really need to stop being afraid of just being myself...but how do you do that when you don't know who yourself really is?
Goodness
This turned into quite a rant...I guess I should return to my packing. . ..
tank_girl:
I understand where you're coming from, it can be painful just learning to accept who you are, but to also understand who you are is whole other story. 
But the biggest thing for me is not caring what others think of me!
But the biggest thing for me is not caring what others think of me! 
macnz:
The best thing is to know that pretty much 75% of the population constantly feels like this and the other 25% are completely delusional....so at least your not the later??