Let's do a timeline...
That'll put things into perspective...
Last Sunday: I act like a dick around my girlfriend, feeling like she's not paying attention to me. I go back that night to apologize, and come to find out that we have more problems than it seems. We decide to stay together and work through them, and I come back later that night and spend the night. I leave for San Antonio that morning.
Monday Night, midnight: She calls, after getting back from Austin. I begin this self-righteous rant about being "unwilling to put my life on hold," which is bullshit anyway, since I'd pretty much change any part of my life for her, and tell her I'm dumping her and moving on.
Tuesday Morning, 2AM: I realize I've made an incredible mistake, begin crying like I've never cried before, rubbing my eyes incredibly hard, and start reading all the letters she wrote me when we were first together (mistake?)
Tuesday Morning, 4AM: I decide (for some reason) that it would be a good idea to put on a CD of love songs she put together for me, and drive back to Houston and win her back. I drive through incredible tears and incredible rain for four hours.
Tuesday, 8AM: I show up on her doorstep, and in a display of true selfishness, more or less beg her to take me back. There is an optimistic light, as she says I haven't lost her yet, and we should get to know each other again, and see what happens. This, of course, should be good enough for me. But it isn't, and too proud to admit I need sleep badly and have no place to go, do not ask to crash on the couch. Instead I opt for a friend's backyard.
Tuesday, 10AM: In my friend's backyard, in 95 degree heat, 100% humidity, unable to sleep, I call my mom, break down once again, cry even harder, and fall deeper into depression. A friend finally calls and says I can stay at his house.
Tuesday, 8PM: I wake up, my right eye is sore and watery, and my vision is blurry. I get in touch with my girlfriend, and around 10:00, go to see her at starbucks. We have a really great time, until my eyes start hurting like shit and pouring water. I barely make it home, by which time the pain is incredible, and I get my friend to take me to the emergency room. My brain makes me call my girlfriend, as well, and I ask her to come with me.
Wednesday, 12am: In the emergency room, screaming in incredible pain, I wait 30 minutes before anyone even talks to me. Finally, doctors sedate me, and determine I have scratched my corneas. I leave the hospital doped up on vicodin, go to get some perscription eye drops. The Pharmacist misspells my name and I end up paying $70.00 for my drugs, since my insurance won't go through, as no-one in America named Galen McQuillan is insured.
Wednesday-Saturday: more or less either doped up on vicodin, or out getting clothes (since I didn't bring any) trying to forget everything.
This Morning, 8AM: My friend wakes me up with the news that my car's windows have been smashed. We arrive at his parents' house, where it's parked, and the front and rear windows are totally smashed in... glass everywhere. We file a police report, and call an Auto Glass place. They say they can't come out until tomorrow (I need to be back in San Antonio Tomorrow) and furthermore, it's going to cost $560 to fix. Oh, and there are no suspects, so the police can't do jack shit, and we have a $500 insurance deductible, so it's not really worth the jacked up rates to claim this one.
So. What did my stupid actions Monday night get me? Depressed, in serious limbo with the one person that makes me feel complete, a week behind on my internship, scratched corneas, two broken windows, and nearly $1000 in expenses that never should have been necessary.
It's fairly clear that I am being punished.
That'll put things into perspective...
Last Sunday: I act like a dick around my girlfriend, feeling like she's not paying attention to me. I go back that night to apologize, and come to find out that we have more problems than it seems. We decide to stay together and work through them, and I come back later that night and spend the night. I leave for San Antonio that morning.
Monday Night, midnight: She calls, after getting back from Austin. I begin this self-righteous rant about being "unwilling to put my life on hold," which is bullshit anyway, since I'd pretty much change any part of my life for her, and tell her I'm dumping her and moving on.
Tuesday Morning, 2AM: I realize I've made an incredible mistake, begin crying like I've never cried before, rubbing my eyes incredibly hard, and start reading all the letters she wrote me when we were first together (mistake?)
Tuesday Morning, 4AM: I decide (for some reason) that it would be a good idea to put on a CD of love songs she put together for me, and drive back to Houston and win her back. I drive through incredible tears and incredible rain for four hours.
Tuesday, 8AM: I show up on her doorstep, and in a display of true selfishness, more or less beg her to take me back. There is an optimistic light, as she says I haven't lost her yet, and we should get to know each other again, and see what happens. This, of course, should be good enough for me. But it isn't, and too proud to admit I need sleep badly and have no place to go, do not ask to crash on the couch. Instead I opt for a friend's backyard.
Tuesday, 10AM: In my friend's backyard, in 95 degree heat, 100% humidity, unable to sleep, I call my mom, break down once again, cry even harder, and fall deeper into depression. A friend finally calls and says I can stay at his house.
Tuesday, 8PM: I wake up, my right eye is sore and watery, and my vision is blurry. I get in touch with my girlfriend, and around 10:00, go to see her at starbucks. We have a really great time, until my eyes start hurting like shit and pouring water. I barely make it home, by which time the pain is incredible, and I get my friend to take me to the emergency room. My brain makes me call my girlfriend, as well, and I ask her to come with me.
Wednesday, 12am: In the emergency room, screaming in incredible pain, I wait 30 minutes before anyone even talks to me. Finally, doctors sedate me, and determine I have scratched my corneas. I leave the hospital doped up on vicodin, go to get some perscription eye drops. The Pharmacist misspells my name and I end up paying $70.00 for my drugs, since my insurance won't go through, as no-one in America named Galen McQuillan is insured.
Wednesday-Saturday: more or less either doped up on vicodin, or out getting clothes (since I didn't bring any) trying to forget everything.
This Morning, 8AM: My friend wakes me up with the news that my car's windows have been smashed. We arrive at his parents' house, where it's parked, and the front and rear windows are totally smashed in... glass everywhere. We file a police report, and call an Auto Glass place. They say they can't come out until tomorrow (I need to be back in San Antonio Tomorrow) and furthermore, it's going to cost $560 to fix. Oh, and there are no suspects, so the police can't do jack shit, and we have a $500 insurance deductible, so it's not really worth the jacked up rates to claim this one.
So. What did my stupid actions Monday night get me? Depressed, in serious limbo with the one person that makes me feel complete, a week behind on my internship, scratched corneas, two broken windows, and nearly $1000 in expenses that never should have been necessary.
It's fairly clear that I am being punished.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
acetracer:
That profile pic rocks 
hotcurry:
aw, thanks for the nod in the am I cute thread. 