wilona

I am so sick of being treated like a whore.
I will not sleep wth you just because you ask me to, and I will not accept drugs as payment.

Seriously.
Show me the good men.
Please.



Sigh.
I'll write a proper blog when I've calmed down.

So New Years Eve was amazing.
A bit mental, and I may have over done it juuuuust a teeny bit, but I had a fabulous time with some of my favouritest people in the whole wide world

I don't think I have ever felt so rough waking up though.
Most of you have seen me in this state, but for those that haven't, I thought...
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January

Bad start to the year.

I spent most of New Years Eve in hospital getting things poked in my eye, due to a contact lens related corneal ulcer. Gross. Started the year very depressed, feeling hideous and lonely. Second day of the year I find out that Alex has been inviting my friends round for sex while Im at work. Thankfully no-one has accepted...
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Because there are some things better expressed with music...



I must apologise for the number of depressingly emo blogs I've been posting the last few months. I know it's no what anyone wants to read. But for some reason I feel like posting these things might just lift some weight off my shoulders.

I've got a lot of thinking to do. I've been trying to...
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Blergh.
I'm a mess.
I honestly don't know how to get through a day without drugs or alcohol anymore.

Luckily I have amazing friends (namely Tragique and Zariya, thanks guys) that keep me sane...
Just about.

I just can't help wondering how much longer I have to wait.



Why do I always do this?
I feel like such a nob.

A combination of upbeat journal comments and something that Ortus said today gave me a bit of a boost. And made me remember why I used to love this song so much.



I dont know why
And lately I dont understand
Why the world's so blind
And no one seems to give a damn

I don't know why
Everything's not okay
Try before you die...
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There's so much I wanna say right now... I just can't.

I started writing this blog with the premise of emptying my head of excessive thoughts about love and life, and my ideas about how and why I've failed so far at both.

I spent most of the morning staring out over frost covered hills trying to figure out where I'm going wrong. I've...
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Hey guys.
Quick update while I can still keep my eyes open.

NUMBER ONE.

It still amazes me how many people read my blogs and leave comments that make me smile, and how many people support me despite never having met me.
It melts my heart, seriously.

NUMBER TWO.

I got my first tattoo last week
I took the day off work and dragged Zariya...
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I'm basically posting just to let everyone know that I'm not such a depressed bunny anymore...
Yes, I still crave love and cuddles, but I'm sure that the time will come when it all falls into place again.
I'm also feeling pretty good about my ex.
Well, I'm definitely not having feelings for him anymore, and he doesn't bother me so much these days with...
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I'm losing it a little bit.
Been feeling a bit down the last few days, mainly due to the realisation that I'm alone.
Maybe I'm not, but it seems that way.

I need real life human interaction, but I'm so socially inept that I try to avoid it.
Which makes no sense seeing as I have a fairly active social life at the moment.
I...
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