wilona

I guess I should explain.

I feel like a total grump because I know everyone else had a good time, but I didn't enjoy this weekend all that much.
Something's changed.
I don't know what it is, but for the majority of Sunday, I felt as if noone had any interest in what I had to say, I felt like I could leave at any moment and noone would even notice I'd gone.
I considered it at one point, but my being a pussy about going home on my own in the dark prevented me from doing so.
Maybe it was just me, maybe I wasn't trying hard enough, maybe I'm losing confidence in talking to people.
I'm not sure.
I just know that I, once again, feel like a socially inept retard, and just want to become a recluse.

A few people also showed their true colours this weekend.
They weren't pretty colours.

I don't want anyone that I saw this weekend to take offence to any of the above.
I just thought I should probably explain some stuff.

Another thing that's been bothering me is being alone.
I know I don't need a nice young man (or woman) to be happy, but I can't help looking at other couples and wishing I could have it all back.
Right now, I don't really feel like I mean much to anyone.
I miss meaning everything to someone.

I was about to say I miss being treated like a princess, but to be honest, I've never been treated like one.
I've always been treated like a bag of shit, and no matter how hard I try to come across as a strong, together woman, it still happens.
Over and over again.

I can't do it anymore.
I just want to hide in my cave and bury my head in the sand until things change.

But they won't.



Today (well, this morning at 4am), my ex text me asking me if I'd like to see him.
For those of you that don't know, I stopped talking to him because I was sick of him only ever contacting me when he was horny.
I told him to get back in touch when he'd grown up.
Not really the best thing to wake up to when you're feeling fragile:

Ex: "Come Sutton? X I miss you"
Me: "Is this your penis or your face speaking?"
Ex: "Lol take me seriously. I'm wanking over some pictures of you right now yes. But today without any of those thoughts I just wanted to meet up with you and see how you're doing."



Proof that nothing ever changes.
Not with men, anyway.

I also had a mini-breakdown at work today because I can't deal with my co-worker anymore.
But I doubt any of my work babble will mean anything to you.

So that's enough shit.
I've been keeping my mood up with The IT Crowd (I'm late, I know, but FUCK ME IS IT GOOD.)
And Snuff Box.
Check it out.
Google that shit.



I'll be back guys, I need a time out.

Back on May 10th?

xxx
Wil

P.S. I took two pictures this weekend. This was while I was still in a generally cheery mood. I do love these girls.