Friday Feb 29, 2008

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My boyfriend hacked into my SG account and read everything I've ever said to anyone.
I said some really horrible things.
I slagged him off.
I flirted outrageously.
I was a complete slut.

I was just playing the game.
I would never cheat on him.
To me, it was harmless.
And I never thought he'd find out.

But he did.
And I feel like the most disgusting person in the world.
I love him, and I treated him without any respect at all.
I'm ashamed.
And disgusted.
And I really really really want to die right now.

I thought about it yesterday.
Apparently the chances of you dying are 20% if you get hit by a car going at 30 mph, and 90% if you get hit by a car going at 40 mph.
I didn't know what speed the cars were going outside, so I didn't risk it.

I don't think he'll ever take me back, and I don't expect him to.
I don't know what I'm doing from one day to the next.
I just want things to go back to how they were.
I want to hold him, and kiss him, and giggle, and play with his hair.

But it really is over for good now.

I really don't want to talk to anyone today.
Feel free to message or comment, but I can't guarantee I'll reply.
I just want to be alone.
I really messed up.

VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
ericdravyn:
I sincerely hope you are reading all of the messages here... have you seen how many people are concerned for you?
Have you taken everything that they're writing to heart?

Seems to me that if you were such a horrible person, there probably wouldn't be a single response here.
Does this make us all horrible people for caring about you?
If we're not, then you're not... simple as that.

I can't express myself any better than all of the people who have written in before me; go back and read them again.
Don't do anything drastic; you need some time and distance from this to be able to see things for what they really are.

Let us know what else we can do for you; you are very well thought of here, obviously, and we want to make sure you're going to be okay.


love ARRR!!!
skull_kid:
I'm not like well... apparently most people here... where I think any and all online flirtation is always ok. There has to be some limits, and they have to be based on how comfortable the person you are in a real relationship may be with all of it.

But with that said, I've seen a lot of your flirtation and it all seemed very innocent to me. And either way, hacking into a private account shows a lack of trust that would have been an issue eventually anyway. Better off without him.

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