wilona

You guys are fucking great.
I can't thank you all enough for the advice and support.

We're still together.
I failed at the whole taking a break thing, and came home late last night.
I decided to give it one last shot, I told him he really needs to make an effort to make it work because the relationship won't fix itself on its own.

I need to focus on getting out of my depression, and that's gonna be the most important thing from now on.
I'm going to get my first set done (he is now very angry about the whole SG thing but to hell with him), I'm going to go out without him (and hope he doesn't accuse me of cheating or makes a fuss about what I'm doing and who I'm with) and I'm going to make my own decisions about what's best for me, not him. If he really does want to be with me, he'll support me in getting better. Because at the moment, he's holding me back.

I've realised that I can't change anyone else's behaviour, I can only change my response to it. So whatever happens with him will happen. I will deal with it as best I can.

My Mum gave me these words to think about last night, she said they helped her immensely:

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace

I will remain hopeful for my future.