wiljones

Word up to the big heat
Real life smacking steaming
A drunk Irishman told me I was just a fad
He told me a foot from my face
I was a fucking fad
Very interesting insult
He was put of by my warm acceptance
Of crazy which he had called me seconds before
Perhaps he wanted to secure the role of craziest motherfucker
In the bar
I think he had me beat in most respects
The good ones
An me perhaps the neurotic American ones only
I am deep in mexico now in the
District federal
Hungover and smoked
Typing on my little Babylon machene
From the airport floor
Keruac I think or the character he plays
Would head out into these two o'clock streets and
Search fordrug..sex..soup
I don't think so though
I see a lot of stress out there on the city streets
Makind it back in time
Alive w/my computer

Ahh the air would taste beautiful like
From gretchen's neck in
A Spanish taxi cab

Let me say that the Mexican girls are hot
Like decked out
Brooklyn style but without
That hood edge
Instead they are natural
In there ornamentation
Fitting in perfectly with
bare stomachs and 3 tone highlights
they just fit the setting
what a mad city this is
it looked like latched together refugee boats
floating in foggy shipwreck ocean darkness

I feel beyond shitty
Despite the parade of Mexican women
Moving past my keyboard
Was it the stress of getting here
There was much
You sit and sit and play the routine
Get so good at it
But then maybe that's all you know
Silverline busses shut down redline
And finally my spiritual home
And comfort -nothing-assed-out
Not afraid of the bottom line just its approach
Meaning a slept with the masses
Passes out hugging my belongings on the cold
Airport floor, I woke to a 60 year old man
With ragged teeth playing the harmonica next to me on the cold stone
A lot of blow notes
Im all draw notes myself

I check out the Mexican girls like they are air
And they are disappearing
With all the stereotypes
About horny mexcians
It is interesting to note I am far
More involved in cheking girls asses
Than any man in here
I am hypnotized
The girls are a new flavor to me
I wish I had ozbaldo's phone number

The trash man, the restroom attendant smoking a cigarette when I walked out of the stall, the boy cleaning the midnight bathrooms all alone with strong bleach and a squeegee

I still feel like dogshit
Was it the run out of weed
The bad sleep on the ground and airplane
The bad diet
Including cigarettes

I am hypnotized by these Mexican chicks
Chicks that would not look hot to me in boston
I am suddenly all about
Boston its
Whitegirls whitegirls whitegirls
5 for everything else you see
Punkd or yupified

Hommie had the bomb light brown leather shoes
If I had them shts I would keep them forever
I mean fuck white trash
These are Mexicans
No one us born can really take tacky
And turn in to beautiful like these people
Sure cennamo
Can buy her bracelets
And her purses
And so can asia with there sensory overload
Games and tv shows
But its not so bottom line sexy like here
It is the fluff that is sexy elsewhere
Her jeans and hemakeup
Here I think you can see more through to the person

Why did I ever leave latin america
Just out of routine I think
I ended up in and out of a lot of lives on my return
What of my Hispanic roots?

I feel comfortable
Belonging despite the obvious racism
Anti-arab fear
Goddamn usa brainwashing these poor fools

I want a shower and a joint
Absolutely beautiful that girl just was
Maybe 22
Do you know any Americans
Sabes algunos americanos?

Have these mothefuckers had too much pussy or something
My eyes are glued to that girls ass
And they are the only set of eyes

What good am I doing myself in usa
Living at like half throttle
This feels so exciting and thick
Like depression could never happen

I could hack this city
It reminds me of new york
Shit half of new york speaks Spanish already
I would have rode the streets if it was daylight
Wandering the airport zone
Searching for drugs at 2:00am
Is a bad fucking idea no matter where you are
And especially if it is a foreign place.


And here it is the zone of chill atop the keys
That the reader knew would manifest
It has been several lazy and I think lazy
Is a good while trite adjective to describe
The mood of days here in Acapulco 2007
There is quite a sweeping view of the bay
And the city built around it from my terrace
It has been a barrage of cheap beers and cheaper tacos
To cozy my solo stare out at the sea
I remember a similar space one summer alone in Jamaica
Smoking herb and staring out at the sea
It was good for me now I think
Though Im not sure all the thinking time was good for me then

It smells like and I think im in Buenos aires and miss
Carrie's bedroom when I hear jim Morrison over the caf sound system
I miss the lost years in between
And miss quinn and where did she end up
Called me ya know few days before break with plans up in the air
'nother life quinn
Sure and shawna like a missing part
Rather than a wild dream
Dripping over sheets
JMB "where's the green machine
Don't know
Notice you notice and give me notice
All I can
Mc'd's and gsmers in the morning coffee and crazy
Sure I fuckin miss it

But its gone eh
So what roll up another one okay
But then what eventually
What
Im getting to the point where im old now
I can't just look at my black light weed leaf posters
Hunter s Thompson
Is betting money against ed Bradley on football
And covering war in grenada

The death of the American dream
That's what his beat is he says

Low like floor crumbs
That need to be swept out
How long I wonder can I keep it up
Sustained mainly by thoughts and drugs
I am a walking corpse of a person sometimes
It seems
I feel low now
Thought it is not a great surprise
Sad as it sounds I miss Weston and mornings
In the woods meditatively staring into the sunrise
I knew it would not last
And was curious at the reality of those days
Curious who I was
Or where it was going
I feel as confused and as lost as anyone
Over shit dance music on my 4am balcony

I seen a movie flicking channels
Some guy had a nice looking girlfriend
They were screaming about something
I always mute the volume so I don't know what
But that looked good faruka baulk or whatever
That chicks name is and chilling in some green space

The bar culture depresses me
Signifigantly
It has always been a steady source
Of unadulterated bad times

Sometimes there has been some ass shakin
Or some crazy drunk yelling at strangers
But these times have been few and far between
Very far between and very few

I miss my female friends
I have none to let me sleep on their floor
Or smoke weed with on their bed at 3 in the morning

As much as I distrust girls
And as much as I admire the friends I have
Male
I do not take much pleasure in their company
It is a fact
Though I do not completely understand it

I have loved beautiful women for years on end
And woken up with them in the scattered sunrises
Of the path

I have, though not intentionally, mysteriously
Vested no effort in any relationship
That did not lead to committed companionship
Or lasting friendship

For cruise ship American girls
I have hungry eyes
But little else it feels
For waitresses in Mexican grass skirts
I have desire but little else it seems

I will not aknowledge the quest
But what is the real quest for if not for tonight's waitress?
Other things almost anyone
Even the ones still in the bar
Even the ones scheming would
Suggest

But I high on the 10th floor terrace
Ask what other things

Alas life without the hos
I mean there are the
Hopes pinned together with
My scattered friends

But what of the three
Girls walking home at 4 from the bar
I need a fuckin persona
I don't remember who im supposed to be

I pause and reflect at this as it seems to be a revelation
Making meaning
While living
Whattup

Be more normal regular official stop with the persona shit on the job
I am basicly crazy
I have been thinking of this
Maybe I am
But surviving
I am living and understanding this northeast bergouese construction
But is it valuble knowledge
Mexico is not liberated onto the path
Though it is infinitely better and more chill than the usa
Look all I can say is there is all this room stuff
Music and your dick and tv and reading and
What about the out and social side
Of the vida
When not dealing with 8 year olds
I have no Idea
Not what is there to do? But
What do you do in a social situation
Or maybe any situation
Like waking up in the morning
Back to the persona thing

Now I understand the Ingmar bergman
Shit that much more
And I discovered a apprication for
Mexicali blues after years of hatred
All tonight

Who is you
Like a phantom ghost
Words on a page
Tune in the air

I seen to the best of my knowledge
That we all had footprints on the beach

The point is that it is too boring I think
It would be nicer to be building a tree house slowly
Day by day
How much better would that be than any of this shit?

Maybe I got to sit on my dick for a year to make it go down
Need the cashflow
Family will never help me
That is the fate
Get a trailer house
On a bad ass plot of liz
Smoke big cheeba
Right?

Why nots
What gonna really stop ya?
Need loot
Generator
Might be boring living
Out with all the hicks

Never really was that boring as I remember
Not the same as ny though