wildseven

Alright. Earlier, on friday morning, i went a bit mad. I put two blogs up that made no sense whatsoever. Embarrassingly non-sensical. I have an idea of what happened, but i felt erasing them was the best option. I think it's a rare, periodic reaction to the new meds i'm on. Happens to 1% of users. It explains all the symptoms i felt, and just realising that made me feel a whole lot better. I'm still not myself again, but knowing that it was a temporary chemical reaction, has helped me ground myself. This helped to halt the panic i felt on friday morning, coupled with some much needed help from MissShell. I might post the psycho blog at some stage, just to verify that it actually happened. But. I don't know at the same time. Leave it at that

I think it's time i say things categorically for a change. Remove all doubt about who i am. Just to come clean for myself. To convince myself that i'm not holding anything back from the friends i've made here. For those of you who don't know, or haven't realised the subtle hints throughout all my blogs ( ), i am physically disabled. And this hinders things for me. Substantially and consistently. In light of that, after much consideration, i won't be visiting America. It's not feasible, realistic, hell it might not even be possible. Crossing the Atlantic Ocean is not possible right now. Unless a lot of drastic changes happen in my life. Which i know is not going to happen

I'm not being pessimistic i'm being realistic. The problems i will run into are multiple and from every angle. I don't have the money or energy to accomplish something of that magnitude. Realistically, Europe is the only option for travel. UK is the closest, so hell, might head over there at some stage. I would like to get away from where i live at least once. Without my family. On my own, or as close to that as i can muster. To pursue further some of the friendships i've made here. Other than that, i don't know. Whatever floats my own boat i suppose

Regardless of what my parents might think, internet relationships are just as valid as any other. For me, anyway, they're more valid than anything else i have going on at the minute. So yeah. Screw them, in this regard anyway. I know they're wrong. I regard communicating via internet just another medium in which to communicate with people. I'm finishing this off on sunday, after a two day break. Since friday, after my mood settled, it's been pretty much constant. In a good way. I think since the stress of college has dissolved away, momentarily anyway, it's eased a lot of the tension.

Recently i've been playing the new Assassin's Creed, on PS3, and i think it's brilliant. The graphics are smooth, the storyline is based pretty solidly in historical fact, and the gameplay is excellent. Expansive cities, free-running, more variety than the first one. I'm not a big fan of independent reviews, i prefer to rely on my own opinion of games, and i think this is a damn good one. I quite like the inclusion of real Italian speech in it. Gives the whole game a more authentic feel.

I'm intentionally not trying to tax myself, by doing anything. For the minute i'm going to take it easy, work on the letters i'm writing. The inevitable question still remains... Exams? I haven't a clue what i'm going to do. I don't care about the results, and the thought of dedicating all that time and effort to a futile endeavour gets my mind revving up again. In case any people might think i'm just being lazy, it's not that. It's more basic than that. If i decide to post the psycho blog, it might explain it. I should probably read through it, to see what was going through my head. I think the word confused doesn't quite do it justice, haha. Hell, i might even put it in at the end. Spoilered of course. I'm not really sure what else i have to blog about. Thought i should at least explain to any people who may have encountered the craziness on friday. I've been going through a music dry spell for the past while, but these are two tracks i've always quite liked: