So I'm sitting in half lotus meditation trying to slip into ecstatic synchrony with the both the aum and light, but no dice. Lingering tainted emotions from the last girlfriend shakeup I had keep rolling through my mind. I know why we didn't work out, I just have a hard time shaking off the feeling of loneliness. I do my best to send her good thoughts and wish her well in her life and relax deeper into my meditation, yet the emotion of lonileness cascades into one of frustration. I'm not were I want to be in my life, feel shackled by a job i hate and trapped in systems I oppose. I let these frustrations play out in the space of my mind and they subside as my energy finally begins to rise up and out of my egoic structure. It is a short lived and low energy meditation, perhaps 5-10 minutes spent in a wordless state of awareness and when I again bring my attention back to my body I find those nasty frustrations still percolating in my body. I know too they aren't going away, they are there as fuel, fuel to accomplish my deeper dreams and goals.