Today the sun was shinning and the weather was a bit warmer than usual. I never really like too much sunshine or warm weather- both tend to make me cranky. Wearing black doesn't help either, but that makes me happy . I rode my bike around town, had coffee because there is a beautiful girl who works at the cafe. She is always very aloof and distant. As often as I frequent the coffee shop and see her- as well as I tend to tip her (damn it) she never offers a smile or anything other than her usual "what are you having?" "A large coffee with room to go." She should really know that by now. However, strangely enough I'm quite drawn to her- not just her attractiveness, but her void of passion- especially towards me. It pulls me closer, so to speak. I find it alluring. I find myself continuously having coffee at this coffee shop- hoping maybe today I will get a smile, or perhaps tomorrow she will ask me how my day is going. Perhaps, she'll even ask my name. Imagine that. I know there is an interesting person behind the face she shows to the world ... and the other face she keeps to herself. Tomorrow I will work and Thursday I will dye my hair red again and I will laugh and play and hop on a bus to see where it takes me. I have had a strange obssesion with Raggedy Ann ... you know Raggedy Ann and Andy? I have been asked what kind of monster will I be? Well, I think perhaps Miss Raggedy Ann, but more of a new and improved one. Not the lifeless doll that sat on a shelf when I was a child. But a real one- that dances and talks back and gets into all sorts of mischief. And Raggedy Ann has the best hair in the world. She never has to cut it and it is always just that one perfect shade of red.
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[Edited on May 15, 2003]