gently and carefully optimistic. thinking about the past two weeks and putting certain things into a fresh perspective has helped. still lonely, but it's ok. called this girl up, met her at pool league, and there was disappointment. it was four in the afternoon on saturday and she said she was getting wasted. not exactly the kind of person to hang out with. hearing her say that just didn't rest well. looking for something different than that, perhaps wasted with focus, wasted as a side effect of something greater. last night met a very exotic looking girl with big buggy silver eyes. she was indian dark-skinned. she wasn't too thrilled to exchange numbers, so it is doubtful she will call. having small episodes such as these curbs the feeling of loneliness. some kind of bug bite on foot - perhaps from cutting through grass to get to backyard? it itches. enough for now. therapy on wednesday. silence. books read in the past three weeks:
women, bukowski
americana, delilo
jitterbug perfume, robbins
naked lunch, burroughs
trout fishing in america, brautigan
women, bukowski
americana, delilo
jitterbug perfume, robbins
naked lunch, burroughs
trout fishing in america, brautigan
Fool! You call her!
What's wrong with wasted at 4 anyways?