widow

Everyone go and read Fatality's journal. be prepared to be overwhelmed with poetic images and emotions that spin out of her words - and (i believe) rival our archives of brilliant writers. I'm including my response to her at the end of this journal entry.

I've been squeemish about actually turning this journal into something I want it to be. So often I see fivorlous words and random actions and random photos (which I LOVE - i love all these things), but its not *me*. I love being a dork, but my humor is much more odd, not in a "cool" way, just odd.

for instance, I find the idea of a very cheesy smiling cat atop a strawberry frosted cupcake to be a pleasurable image. I also think that a grasshopper knows more than us.

its just a different way of being, and i've been frustrated with myself for not getting out there and SPEAKING my MIND and letting you SPEAK YOURS. So much. so much.

I like dreaming. I'm having this huge transformation in my life where I've gone from insecure, randomly odd holly to a randomly odd, accomplished, HAPPY , devoted to God, spiritual, academic, business saavy, assertive, aggressive, compassionate, developed, instrinsically content holly.

how are you doing with your transformations?

the vices of pessimissm, procrastination and lack of belief (which I suppose is like pessimissm) can really chain our fingernails down. there's so much to be done to just *clip* *clip* get rid of the infatuation with inability.

im going to start writing like i mean it, and to hell with responses - this is me.





My response to fatality's most recent journal entry - I include it here to share with you my emotions around it:

my god, fatality. how have you become so eloquent? im so swamped with academic literature that revolves the insolent addictions of managers to control the lives of others - as I desperately seek to find another way. to follow that leetle shed of light that reasuringly just never seems to go away...

& I often have to go into nature to experience a release. to find the confinment of an academic discourse to actually hold the fingertips of a baby waiting to transform our world. i love those moments of relaxation and anticipation of what is to come. i love regeneration.

I also love your writing. you really touched a silly, warm happy part of me today, making it seem so real and wonderful that there are so many days left in our life to experience it.

im happy. im so glad that you're able to communicate what i know so many others would love to experience.

beauty.

love!