back from SF - the trip was a travellers nightmare, that i don't even want to start to get into since i am still pissed about it... didn't have much free time in SF but was able to make it to Alcatraz. Nothing like the cruelty, isolation and misery which haunts a maximum security facility to cheer me right up. Also had a tasty italian dinner at Brindisi's (just beneath china town) with an new/old friend who moved to california from berlin earlier this year...
meanwhile there was a skandal at the pool this evening! As i finished my laps and headed into the steam room i noticed that the fellow now paddling in the fast lane seemed to have an extremely sheer swimsuit... or was he....whatever...my mind moved on to other matters (damn KLM airlines lost my luggage!) as i stripped down and rinsed the pool water off of me before settling into the steam room to stretch my jet lagged muscles. after a few moments a fellow came in and laid down across from me - i noticed that he wasn't using a towel to lay on but was barebacking on the black stone bench, which always seems to me to be quite unhygienic and distasteful, but if people don't care a whit about settling their carcasses onto a slippery surface crawling with bacteria driven to strange mad mutations by the steam heat that's their business. After a few minutes some other folks came in - one of the old lady regulars, impressively wrinkled and always good humoured, as well as a oversized blonde. i am not usually a connoisseur of the "rubenesque" but i had to admit she was large, lovely and her tan lines were in all the right places! as we all suffered through our moist torture suddenly there appeared a man at the door demanding something in an authoritarian tone - as i focused through the fog it became apparent that he was trying to get the attention of the human petri dish across from me. in his prone position he was not responding and the blonde had to tap him on the arm to get him to answer the inquiry from the man who i now saw was wearing a white shirt and a red tie - never a good sign. mr. B(acteria) indicated that he would come out in a moment and mr. R(ed Tie) closed the door after the old lady protested that we were rapidly losing our claim to the title 'steam room'. but mr. B continued to dawdle unhygienically and in a few minutes mr. R was back, and this time i caught the word 'polizei' drift across the room! mr. B affected exasperation and tried to stand up suddenly which, because of the lack of a friction inducing towel beneath his gelatinous posterior, resulted in his halfway slipping off the bench and onto the tiled floor like a bar of old soap! Once he got outside and mr. R started berating him it became clear that this was the fellow who i had seen earlier in the pool. Apparently he had been floating the wrinkly worm in the fast lane, swimming without a swimsuit! And while the steam room, bio-sauna and spa area (which consists of mood lighting and eight chaise lounges) are behind a door clearly marked as a 'textile free zone', the pool is definitely not one and swimming 'au natur' is a bozo no-no! As their argument drifted off and the steam again began to fill the room we chuckled amongst ourselves at the tempest in our teapot. Leaving the building later i saw him looking a bit sheepish at the towel counter as a couple of bewildered police officers headed back to their patrol car... all in a night's work for berlin's finest!
meanwhile there was a skandal at the pool this evening! As i finished my laps and headed into the steam room i noticed that the fellow now paddling in the fast lane seemed to have an extremely sheer swimsuit... or was he....whatever...my mind moved on to other matters (damn KLM airlines lost my luggage!) as i stripped down and rinsed the pool water off of me before settling into the steam room to stretch my jet lagged muscles. after a few moments a fellow came in and laid down across from me - i noticed that he wasn't using a towel to lay on but was barebacking on the black stone bench, which always seems to me to be quite unhygienic and distasteful, but if people don't care a whit about settling their carcasses onto a slippery surface crawling with bacteria driven to strange mad mutations by the steam heat that's their business. After a few minutes some other folks came in - one of the old lady regulars, impressively wrinkled and always good humoured, as well as a oversized blonde. i am not usually a connoisseur of the "rubenesque" but i had to admit she was large, lovely and her tan lines were in all the right places! as we all suffered through our moist torture suddenly there appeared a man at the door demanding something in an authoritarian tone - as i focused through the fog it became apparent that he was trying to get the attention of the human petri dish across from me. in his prone position he was not responding and the blonde had to tap him on the arm to get him to answer the inquiry from the man who i now saw was wearing a white shirt and a red tie - never a good sign. mr. B(acteria) indicated that he would come out in a moment and mr. R(ed Tie) closed the door after the old lady protested that we were rapidly losing our claim to the title 'steam room'. but mr. B continued to dawdle unhygienically and in a few minutes mr. R was back, and this time i caught the word 'polizei' drift across the room! mr. B affected exasperation and tried to stand up suddenly which, because of the lack of a friction inducing towel beneath his gelatinous posterior, resulted in his halfway slipping off the bench and onto the tiled floor like a bar of old soap! Once he got outside and mr. R started berating him it became clear that this was the fellow who i had seen earlier in the pool. Apparently he had been floating the wrinkly worm in the fast lane, swimming without a swimsuit! And while the steam room, bio-sauna and spa area (which consists of mood lighting and eight chaise lounges) are behind a door clearly marked as a 'textile free zone', the pool is definitely not one and swimming 'au natur' is a bozo no-no! As their argument drifted off and the steam again began to fill the room we chuckled amongst ourselves at the tempest in our teapot. Leaving the building later i saw him looking a bit sheepish at the towel counter as a couple of bewildered police officers headed back to their patrol car... all in a night's work for berlin's finest!
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and i want it now!
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