Update....I'm in PA. It's Friday the 16th. And I watched my nephew pop out of my sister-in-law today. What an honor it was to be in the room. I didn't feel queazy at all. The only weird thing was the placenta/umbilical (sp?) cord stuff. WHOA. That shit was crazy. He's adorable and PERFECT. Just absolutely perfect in every way. 
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Sat.
I went to the hospital early this morning around 8am. My nephew was even more precious today than yesterday. I NEVER thought that seeing all of this would make me feel the urge to procreate.
I look forward to the day when I have someone in my life that I can share something like that with.
After I got home I took the beetle out for a drive with the top down. I drove past the house that my grandmother grew up in. I drove to the field that I had my homecoming dinner at in 9th grade. I also drove to the place where my first true love took me one night in February many many years ago. It was a day of joyful crying.
It's strange but the whole experience yesterday really makes me believe in God. I feel awkward saying something like that. I've questioned many things about religion and just plain feared death for so long. When my nephew took his first breath I thought to myself that there really are miracles. And to witness such a miracle somehow gave me the strength to accept death a little more. When my grandmother passed away a few months ago I didn't really grieve. I felt numb. And I didn't understand how my grandfather could have such peace with everything. Last evening, however, I think I found some peace on several levels. I drove past the cemetary today where my grandmother is buried. I cried a little and thought to myself that she would have been excited to see my new little nephew. Tomorrow I'll go and take her some flowers and tell her all about him.
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Sat.
I went to the hospital early this morning around 8am. My nephew was even more precious today than yesterday. I NEVER thought that seeing all of this would make me feel the urge to procreate.
I look forward to the day when I have someone in my life that I can share something like that with.
After I got home I took the beetle out for a drive with the top down. I drove past the house that my grandmother grew up in. I drove to the field that I had my homecoming dinner at in 9th grade. I also drove to the place where my first true love took me one night in February many many years ago. It was a day of joyful crying.
It's strange but the whole experience yesterday really makes me believe in God. I feel awkward saying something like that. I've questioned many things about religion and just plain feared death for so long. When my nephew took his first breath I thought to myself that there really are miracles. And to witness such a miracle somehow gave me the strength to accept death a little more. When my grandmother passed away a few months ago I didn't really grieve. I felt numb. And I didn't understand how my grandfather could have such peace with everything. Last evening, however, I think I found some peace on several levels. I drove past the cemetary today where my grandmother is buried. I cried a little and thought to myself that she would have been excited to see my new little nephew. Tomorrow I'll go and take her some flowers and tell her all about him.
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as for the heavy stuff - rather than me babble on and on, which i could do on this subject, you need to read these two books:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0684832402/qid=1082418155/sr=8-1/ref=pd_ka_1/104-9575563-8810349?v=glance&s=books&n=507846
and
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0553374060/qid=1082418231/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-9575563-8810349?v=glance&s=books
congrats to you and your family.