whiteyford

I can never hate any of my past loves... loseing them for whatever reason nearly killed me, but just like you I learned what love is and what it isn't... and more importantly - what a gift is it when it shows up.

I'm glad you are ready to move on and that you met a sweetheart to do that with...

*hugs*

ARe you going to be able to talk to me when you are gone?

The love stuff is interesting for sure, good luck with that and Japan too. Exciting!

thanks

My heart and brain I guess couldn't communicate well when I had so much else going on, and so much panic and anx, but now when I don't - I can feel and see things in another way for the good and bad. It's almost scary. Like WHAT THE FUCK!? But I'm pretty good and all. Just wished I could sleep better sometimes and "shut off" the spinning mind because it doesn't do any difference you know. I'll be fine. I hope you will too.

Okay, first off, I missed ya, but I have been following the saga - while I have not had the time to proper ly comment.

Here is what I have to say.

Take a deep breath and quit worrying about it. I have no idea what's happened to you in the past, but I do know pain... I do know fear... And I know what a gift it is to love and be loved and start a new relationship of promise... And I think that you should relax and let yourself enjoy the beauty of this new relationship. Give her and yourself (cause you are more fabulous than you think) a little more credit. If she is someone special for you, then she is going to love and accept all that is you... And I please remember that you can't take all the blame for past relatiohsips screwing up or not working. It takes two to tango.... and relationships work or they don't. Silly, but true. That being said, I don't think you are going to screw things up, and I don't think you should ruin this first part of what could be so beatuiful with worry and fear... I think fabulous things are for you on the horizon... and I think if you can let it, regardless of how it turns out, she sounds sweet and I think you should let this be a blessing in your life... That's my soap box two cents worth or something like that. I know what its like to be scared.... I do. I didn't have the courage to even let someone in as far as you have yet....

Just know that I've got my fingers crossed that this works out for you, that it makes you happy, and that she is someone who won't hurt your heart....

*hugs*

and to the japan question- undies, and socks... dude if you got that, that's all you need.

Once again I am glad that I was able to touch your heart...

Listen to my heart? My heart wants something it cannot have, or rather someone... So at this point, between you and me, its a lot more about letting go and being brave enough to find something new....

*hugs* thanks for putting a smile on my face. Take care.

Yep, I'm not doing any nude pixxxors, that's just for fun and they will be censured. That's good enough.

I am so happy that you found a little bit of happiness... sometimes it is those simple things that are the best truly.

Why are you going to Japan, and how long will you be gone and will you miss me?

Good... and I'm happy you get to do something crazy and unique like that. So awesome.

I want to go to Austrailia, or to North Carolina, I have a girlfriend there and I miss her... So plans to go there are always on the back of my mind...

Every time I see your avatar for a comment you've made somewhere I think of the song Flight of the Valkyries.

Thank you that made me smile.

here, here!

go for it! and good luck

mmmm, smoked pork. I LOVE smoked pork...

Only fools rush in... but I think he is the bigger fool who never tries and must forever wonder! I would say just go for it... maybe not the holding her part just yet, but you know make some kind of a move... coffee, get away from the office where you can talk. I hope that it works out for you and I am glad that it is a happy distraction for you.

Wishing your courage to dig a little deeper and luck to go along with it!