Story of the day.......................
Well - feeling much better from that icky gross flu like thing that knocked me down for the past week
I was feeling great today...that is until I attempted to do a dance move that I probably would have been capable of doing back in 1995
I have to keep reminding myself that I am
NOT 16 anymore but rather a fragile
30!!!!
If any of you are familiar with dancing (or at least watch "So You Think You Can Dance") there is a move that is basically a cartwheel without using your hands. Of course I thought that since I can do a regular cartwheel that I would be capable of pulling off this new move.
WRONG!!!!! 
The moral of the story here is that even though you may think of yourself as a teenager, your body doesn't know any better and will act its age......and react accordingly to any acts of stupidity that you may cause to it. I am sure that my shoulder and neck will be as good as new in a few days and as soon as I can turn my head again I'll probably be a dumb ass and try it again
In other news
.............
*WARNING* - the following may contain some mushy, sappy, whining that may not be suitable for some readers.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)This afternoon I spoke to Pete for the last time on web cam before he officially heads out on the open sea to begin the training phase of his deployment. That being said - it may also be the last time I hear from him at all until his return to Okinawa in Late November/ Early December. Of course there is the sickening worry in the pit of my stomach that it could potentially be the last time I speak to him ever. I know that being on a training mission means that the chances of him being in harms way is very slim and deep down I know that he is coming home perfectly fine but it is only natural to worry right?? Of course for security reasons he wasn't able to tell me where exactly he was going but through my military chain of command (yes, spouses of military members have these too) I got a rough idea of where he may be headed. It isn't him or any of the guys in his unit I am worried about at all. They are highly trained to do their jobs....it is the locals I worry about. Do
THEY know that these guys mean no harm and are only there to train??? This is what worries me. Of course it doesn't help that just after I spoke to Pete I got an email from a former co worker in the Canadian Armed Forces containing a fresh list of Canadian Soldiers killed on deployment and it is like a knife in my heart each time I read a name I knew. I keep thinking that if Canadian soldiers are being killed on deployments (and we go over there as peace keepers) what is potentially to happen to Pete and his unit who are on deployment for different reasons. I know that Pete joined the military knowing the same things I did when I joined. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into when we signed the dotted line. Still - as much as I love the military (I know some of you may think I am sick in the head for that) I also know the dangers and the potential outcomes to events.........things I don't really want to think about. I can't believe how my perspective of the military has changed now that we are married though. If I were to still be in the forces now I wouldn't be throwing my hand up at the chance to go overseas to make a difference. Of course I would go in a hearbeat if they asked me....I just wouldn't volunteer to go every week. It is different knowing that your decisions now affect another life as well as your own. Then there is the whole perspective once again when children are involved. I don't know - just lots of things going through my head right now.
I just miss Pete like crazy
It is weird - little things really bother me these days. Just seeing a couple walking down the street hand in hand makes me resent the fact that I can't do that with my husband. I just wanna walk up to young couples I see making out and telling them that they have no right to display their affection in public because not everyone has that luxury. Silly little things like those damn hallmark commercials make me cry because all I can think about is the fact that even if I send Pete a stupid card, he may not even get it for 2-3 months. How is he suppose to know that I miss him and love him very much??
WOW - someone is a little hormonal today
I think I'll end this here before I really go off on a rant (as if this hasn't been one already)
Last but not least. The new medical job........is more of a joke than anything I got to work on Monday and they just started me working right away. I never had an interview, never filled out an application, never got a time card.....nothing. I never really thought about it until my father-in-law pointed out to me that there is no record of me even working there The other 2 Medical Assistants that I work with are leaving and after hearing why I will probably be following right behind them. They get paid under the table - no taxes off or anything. They don't get paid on a regular basis and sometimes they only get partial checks with promises to pay them the rest "later". How is one suppose to pay bills etc if they can't even count on getting paid every couple of weeks?? The worst part for me is the fact that they won't give me set hours. I asked them when I work until every night and they told me "oh - just after the last patient leaves" which doesn't work with my dance teaching schedule at all. So Monday I am going to go in and set the record straight. They also will need to be paying me more if the other 2 girls leave and I am left all by myself. Not for $9.00 an hour I'm not!!!! How am I suppose to answer phones, schedule patients, do vital signs, administer immunizations, set up for proceedures for the Dr, call patients back with lab results AND scan all hard copy medical records into the computer to convert to electronic format??? I think that I may be better off just staying on unemployment and teching at the same time. Then during the day I can focus on going back to school to get some California certifications in the medical field. I don't know - too much going on these days.
Anyways - this whole journal turned out to be nothing more than a rant....sorry
I am just going to end this with
and with all of my heart
