Tuesday Jan 22, 2008

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Story of the day............................

Well - I FINALLY got some sleep (which probably made Pete a very happy mantongue) You know that you are on the verge of insanity when you drop an egg on the floor and start crying like it is the end of the world blush On Friday my body just gave out to exhaustion (not to mention the fact that Pete did some little tricks to put me to sleep) so slowly I am getting back to a normal sleep pattern......at least I hope eeek

At this moment in time I would like all of you to go to MsJune's journal and give her a great big hug. She lost her daddy and needs some big hugs. I hate seeing my friends hurting and she is the nicest gal you will ever meet. She doesn't deserve to be this sad but I also know that she is one of the strongest people I knowwink

Now - I hate to put sad, angry, depressing stuff in my journal so I am warning you that if you don't want to hear any more emotional stuff, then please don't click on the spoilerfrown

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
It was exactly one year ago today that Pete and I had to go through probably the toughest phase of our marriage to datefrown It was exactly one year ago that we lost our baby. I was from what the doctors say apporximately 7 weeks along with what one of them believed to be twins. We will never know for sure if we lost one or 2 precious lives but it still hurts none the less. Even though my heart was broken that day, it healed in time....although there will always be a piece missing that can never be replaced.



I honestly don't know how Pete is dealing with all of this since he never really shared his feelings (other than right after the incident) but I hope that the two of us have better luck with our next child. This is one thing that I wouldn't wish for anyone to have to go through but if they did I would tell them that:

Tthings do get easier each day. You will have your good days and your bad. There will be days when you don't even want to get out of bed for fear of another tragedy hitting you like a ton of bricks. There will be days when you shrug it off as being natures way of saying that things weren't right for that baby. Some days you will want to scream at the top of your lungs letting the world know how unfair life was to you and that you hope that everyone has to go through the pain and hell you did. There are days when you can't even look at another baby because you resent the fact that they are alive and well. Other days you hold a family member or friends child and sing soft lullabyes to it just to see it react with a smile.

At this point in time, my motto is simply c'est la vie. Even though I will never know that baby, I belive that there is an angel out there that is just for Pete and I.




Hope everyone had a great weekendbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin



kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
caffeinemonkey:
Glad you finally got some sleep. I am glad to hear you and Pete are making it through the first year milestone with the loss. You guys are in my thoughts. As well as Mrs. June.
mspurple:
So good to know you are sleeping again...

as for the rest, all I can do is send you lots and lots of love and hugs kiss kiss I've been going through something similar with my sister, and even though is not me it still hurts... But I know things have a way of getting better, you'll see.... because you totally deserve all good kiss

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