whitepimp

I skipped class today to go out with my friends to drive out to Mt. Hood. It was so much fun, spontanouesly a stick fight broke out between us and there was six of us, we had teams and stuff. When I ran off to hide in this spot awaiting somebody to walk by so I could ambush them I had this amazing realization how wonderful living is! I've become an increasingly optimisstic person the last several months. I use to be SO pesstimistic, I use to be incredibly suicidal and misanthropic; this one night it felt like what truman said the minute he found out roosevelt died and he became president, "It felt like all the stars, moons, and suns had fallen on me at once." I was walking along the burnside bridge and I broke down and couldn't stop crying; I just hated everything. I know in my heart that I came VERY close to jumping off, it would of been a painless death cause the impact would of knocked me out and I would of drowned. Well, anyways, I'm so glad that I didn't, I've now come to the final conclusion with the help of the writings of Schopenhauer, that it wasn't the world that was bullshit and fucked up, but rather it was MY world that was bullshit and fucked up; cause each individual is the center of the world cause the world is merely a representation or an idea in the mind of the individual and how each individual percieves the world, that is basically how the world is. This is borderline existentialism, but existentialism and all other sartrist are wrong when they say that the individual is responsible for all events that happen in one's life, things happen inadvertently sometimes and sometimes are out of your control.

Well anyways, I want to share some of the small things that have made all the differenve in my life. And perhaps the reader can use them as a paradigm to better their own world.

1. Laughter- now, I have very dry sense humor that rarely brings laughs out of peple's mouths, but in my head I'm the world's funniest comedian! I constantly amuse myself by thinking of funny scenarios that would happen if did this or said that, and it constantly makes me giggle and sometimes people look at me sitting quietly with a smirk on my face for no reasona and it makes me giggle louder wondering what their thinking cause they probably think I'm crazy and to me that's pretty funny.

2. Healthy eating and exercise- Now, for thousands of years philosophers and theologians have argued and attempted to undertand the universal dichotomy of the physical self and the metaphysical self. But the simple fact is that they are connected together like siamese twins. I think sometimes people (I'm included) are guilty of putting to much emphasis on their minds and neglecting their body. It's amazing how much better you feel inside when you care for your physical self. Now, I know, exercise sucks, but you know what? It can actually be fun and I'm not talking about sports. I like to go jogging while listening to stupid and silly music like weezer, lifting both of my arms high in fists high in the air while I jog like I won the emo rock marathon, or jumping high doing air guitar.
And you know what? vegetables taste pretty darn good!

actually I was going to write a lot more but my fingers are fucking numb, so I'll post them up in my next journal.