whiskeyfightpit

The Dirtbombs are playing in scenic Toledo tonight. Normally, I would be excited about such a great band playing this shithole. I should be shouting and dancing up front like a respectable music fan. No. I do not want to be social. I do not want to mix with "associates" or people I have to make up some kind of small talk with. Apparently, this is a symptom of this "depression" my former psychiatrist talked about. It isn't "normal" behavior for someone not to want to be around people he knows. Well, then my whole life isn't normal because I've felt that way as far back as I care to remember. These people don't give two damns how I feel or what I'm thinking about. Why should I waste my time trying to entertain a bunch of motherfuckers? There is no reward for being a "nice guy" or a "great conversationalist". I get nothing in return for generosity, kind words, and a sense of humor. This entire town and everyone in it is a complete waste of my fucking time which is very, very valuable. I'm really tired of being polite and meek. I believe this was a biproduct of my former obesity. There was this "great neighboor" mentality that I had been hiding under for a few years. Since I've lost weight, cleaned up my appearance, and just generally have improved every aspect of my intellect....I have no fucking time or patience for people who do not have anything for me in return. I am the bee's knees. I am comfortable with that. The ego is inflating but not to Hindenberg proportions. It's more of a highly critical self-confidence. If you are wasting my time, patience, and brain power...I'm going to politely remove myself from your presence...forever.

A SMALL TOWN PLAYBOY
AND HIS AMBITION
BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD
WHERE DEDICATION
GROWS FUNDS
LIKE THE TAPESTRY MOSS
ALONG THE QUARRYS SIDES
EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE
YET NOTHING WHATSOEVER
WAS HANDED TO YOU
IT HURTS NOW, DEAR
AND IT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT
TO FEND FOR YOURSELF
WHEN GASPING FOR AIR
BRINGS ONLY THE LANDFILLS MIST
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT
TO RECOGNIZE COMPASSION
AND RECIPROCATE
YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THIS DESPAIR
YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS LONELINESS
HE MEANT FOR YOU TO WIN
YOU, THE BRONZED ASSET
TO BE PROPPED UP AND SILENT
TO CAUSE ENVY IN FRIENDS
AND TO MAKE ENEMIES INSANE
NONE OF THIS IS LIFE
YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THIS LOVELESSNESS
YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS SORROW
A SMALLTOWN PLAYBOY
WITH HIS COLLECTED DREAMS
BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD
AMONG THE TWILIGHT OF CONQUEST
THIS AGE OF IMMEDIATE GAIN
AND LEFT YOU NOTHING TO BUILD WITH
NO REASON TO DOUBT THE PROPHET OF DOOM
HIS CLASSIC CONFIDENCE
OVERSHADOWED AND QUELLED YOUR OWN
YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THIS FALL
YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS SEASON OF POVERTY
ALTHOUGH THE SAINT OF PATIENCE WAITS FOR YOUR CALL
A SMALLTOWN PLAYBOY
MEANT FOR YOU TO WIN

I bought some CDs today.

Lee Hazlewood "Complete MGM Recordings"
Jobriath "Lonely Planet Boy"
Handsome Boy Modeling School "White People"

For some odd reason, this website and the people on my friends list are the only people I feel some obligation to say hello to. Maybe I need to not surround myself with co-workers, drunks and druggies from high school, spoiled suburban failures, and cookie-cutter scene people. These people are fucking vacant. Hello Bookshelf.

SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY
The Smiths "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"
Pulp "Lipgloss"
Roxy Music "In Every Dream home, A Heartache"
Sweet "Wig Wam Bam"
Gary Glitter "Do You Wanna Touch Me?"
David Bowie "Cracked Actor"
T-Rex "Baby Boomerang"
Steve Harley "Come Up And See Me (Make Me Smile)"
Lou Reed "Kill Your Sons"
Roy Wood "Ball Park Incident"